Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Wedding Wednesday: Invitation Etiquette with Dixie Design

Wedding Wednesday: Invitation Etiquette with Dixie Design

Wedding Wednesday: Invitation Etiquette with Dixie Design


Wedding Wednesday: Invitation Etiquette with Dixie Design

Wedding Wednesday: Invitation Etiquette with Dixie Design

Wedding Wednesday: Invitation Etiquette with Dixie Design

Last week, I posted an interview with etiquette expert Myka Meier about all things weddings. Today we are doing a deeper dive into etiquette regarding wedding invitation suites and more! This is one of those things that I think is tricky and where finding a great stationer is so important!

Who better to interview than Dixie Design, who we are using for all of our wedding paper needs! If you have not heard of  Dixie Design, they are, 'a purveyor of semi-custom stationery and wedding paper, hand-designed by a collective of skilled artists, for discerning clients with a taste for luxurious, artfully driven paper without the lengthy design time or high price point.'

I mean seriously, look at some of the photos of their work above. DREAMY. Besides wedding suites, they also do invitations, holiday cards, stationery and much more. I actually first discovered Dixie Design last year and ordered when I ordered the most beautiful wrapping paper and was in love from then on!

We just finalized our save-the-dates with  Dixie Design (!!!), which I will share after they go out, and we are currently in the works on the entire wedding paper suite and you guys, it is already SO good. This past revision that I just saw gave me literal chills.

I've always been a lover of snail mail, and a handwritten note, and really appreciate beautiful paper goods so this is a really exciting part of the wedding planning process for me!

So, I took to Instagram stories to see what you all wanted to ask Dixie Design and they were so lovely and answered soooo many of your questions!

The top question was how to clearly let guests know that children are not invited? Aka an adult-only wedding. 
DD: This is such a tough one! It is actually not correct to list “no children” anywhere, on your paper pieces or on your website. The inner and outer envelopes play an important role in letting people know who is invited. The head of house is listed on the outer envelope and the inner envelope includes a listing of who is invited. If the children are not listed on the inner envelope, it should be understood they are not invited. If as a bride you receive a reply card where someone has included their children or mentions they are bringing them in conversation, it is your responsibility to politely let them know the wedding is for adults only. 


When is it appropriate to use your married monogram? 
DD: Your married monogram is to be used at the reception and after. You can be creative with ways to include both the bride and groom’s initials before the wedding like A & J inside a rehearsal dinner crest.

Where is it appropriate to put your wedding website? How to appropriately share your wedding registry? 
DD: You may include your wedding website on a Save the Date card and your wedding registry may be included on invitations to your bridal showers.

Where is it appropriate to share the dress code within the invitation suite? 
DD: The bottom right-hand corner of the wedding invitation.

Is it appropriate to ask about allergies/dietary restrictions in any part of the suite? 
DD: Yes, on your response card you can leave a line asking for this information. You typically do this if you are having a seated dinner. If you are having a buffet, it might be nice to include details about options that are gluten and dairy-free on small cards displayed on the buffet.

How do you properly address a couple who is not married yet, but live together?
DD: The use of “and” signifies marriage, so instead you would stack their names on the envelope.

Ms. Rachel Ames Wilson
Mr. Robert Winston Harrison

When should you send out Save the Dates?
DD: Send between 4 and 12 months out, depending on the location of the wedding and the need for guest travel planning.

If the wedding is during the holiday season (Thanksgiving-New Year) do you suggest sending out the invitations sooner? 
DD: I would recommend sending invitations 8 weeks in advance for a wedding during the holidays.


If the majority of guests will be from out of town, should you send save the dates and invitations earlier than usual?
DD: Send save the dates as soon as you can. If your wedding requires a flight or your hotel blocks need to be made by a certain date then send your invitation according to those requirements. Many guests do not want to book accommodations until they receive the actual invitation. 


Is there a traditional way or an etiquette rule in terms of including or not including a plus one for a guest? 
DD: There is not a specific rule and you are not required to include someone at your wedding if you do not know them. I think if a couple is engaged, it is very nice to invite the fiancé.

When is it appropriate to use Ms. vs. Mrs.? 
DD: Ms. is a title of respect before a woman's name or position that does not indicate her marital status, so I think if you are in doubt, it is always acceptable to use. And this article states the use of Mrs. best.

When To use Miss vs. Ms?
DD: I recommend the use of Miss for a woman who is single and in her 20s or younger. If a woman is single and in her 30s or above or if she is living with someone, I recommend using Ms.

What age do you stop using ‘Master’ 
Until the age of 6-7
. Another great article.

What is the function of an inner envelope and is it necessary? 
DD: The inner envelope is helpful for listing children invited to a wedding and this is where you would place “and guest.”

Mr.Smith and Guest

If you are inviting a family of 4, how do you traditionally address the envelope?
DD: This is where an inner envelope comes in to play. You list the head of household on the outer envelope and the children on the inner envelope:

Outer
Mr. and Mrs. James Martin Smith

Inner
Mr. and Mrs. James Martin Smith
Elizabeth and Margaret

If you are inviting a family, but the children are in college, do you send separate invitations? DD: Anyone over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation.


What is an acceptable period of time to send thank you notes after a shower? After the wedding? 
DD: Sending thank you notes can seem daunting, especially for a larger wedding. To help with the flow of note writing, it’s our recommendation that you send notes following a bridal shower within three months, but sooner if possible and before your wedding day arrives. After a wedding, you technically have up to one year to send thank you notes, but we recommend having all notes sent within six months. To help with constructing engaging and thoughtful notes, we’ve written a Guide for your Handwritten Thank You Notes post on our Dixie blog.

How to properly write the names of divorced parents on the wedding invitation?

If the mother has remarried she is listed by her husband's name with Mrs.
Mrs. James Wilson Smith
Mr. Howard Winslow Harrison

If the mother has not remarried she is listed with Mrs. but by her name
Mrs. Laura Martin Harrison
Mr. Howard Winslow Harrison

note: the use of “and” is not used between the names

Is there anything you have seen pop up recently that has become a trend in invitations/wording/etc.?  
DD: At Dixie, we tend to avoid trends with wedding-related items and prefer following the most updated etiquette suggested by Crane’s or Emily Post.

What are the biggest differences between traditional invitation wording and more modern wording? 
DD: Modern wording would be something you make up that does not fit into the suggestions of etiquette. Traditional wording has been developed to honor the hosts of your wedding while giving significance to the couple, all under the guidelines of etiquette.


Do you suggest creating custom stamps that match with your wedding suite or go with regular USPS stamps? 
DD: Creating custom stamps does increase the cost of your postage and could possibly double postage. If you are on a budget, use stamps by USPS so you can allocate that money elsewhere. The UPSP.com website lists all the available stamps with possibly more online options than at your local post office. If you are not on a budget and love when things are very coordinated, then custom postage might be a good option for you.


What address is customary to include on the return and the RSVP card? Parents of the bride or the bride herself? 
DD:  wedding host’s address should be included. If the parents are hosting, the reply card should go to them; if the bride and groom are hosting the reply card should go to them. 


If my friend has been casually dating someone and we give her a plus one, should we address it to Friend + Guest or Friend + Guest name?
List “and guest” if you do not know this person and they would otherwise not be invited to your wedding. If you would invite this person to your wedding even if they were not dating your friend, they should receive their own invitation.


Do you spell out Doctor or is Dr. OK? 
Both are acceptable.

DD: We recommend purchasing Crane’s Blue Book of Stationery and/or Crane’s Wedding Blue Book for all wedding-related etiquette, including how to word your wedding invitation and all the situations that arise when addressing your invitation's inner and outer envelopes.

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