Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Wedding Wednesday: We Had To Postpone Our Wedding Due To COVID-19


Disclaimer: If me being truthful in sharing my sadness about us having to postpone our wedding is going to trigger you negatively in any way, please stop here and move on to something that will bring you joy. I say that in all sincerity and with empathy in my heart as I recognize there are far worse issues and bigger problems in this world. My sadness is justified and if you think otherwise and are considering sending me a comment or DM that is hurtful or hateful, this is not the place for you at this time. My emotions are fragile at the very best and we all need to work to be a little kinder to each other (always, but especially during this time).

Just because I am sad, it does not diminish or make light of anyone else's suffering from anything- whether great or small. I'm fully aware this is not just happening to me and I am not looking for your sympathy, but rather wanted to share with you all as I have been chronicling our wedding planning. This has unfortunately affected so many couples across the globe and I so badly wish that wasn't the case. Thinking of all of the heartbreak in the world right now is too much to even comprehend at times. This is a time in which we ALL have to make so many sacrifices. These sacrifices come in all different shapes and sizes. Bride or not, we are all in this together and we will all get through it together. End disclaimer... 

2020 marks my 11th year of blogging. Eleven. I started when I was 19 and in 3 weeks, I will be turning 30. I have grown and changed in so many ways but one of the things that has always been constant here on Summer Wind is that it has been a place of positivity. It has been a place for me to spread joy, happiness, and lightness. I have always preached about how important it is to look at the glass half full and to always find the silver lining in even the worst of situations. Not only do I preach this, but this is truly how I live. 

To be quite honest, this post is hard for me to write because it has taken all of me to stay my usual, positive self. Last week was a week of sheer craziness for me, my fiancé, and our families as we made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding. I battled anxiety that I didn't even know I was capable of having. I felt sadness, I felt hopeless, I felt unlike myself.

Now that we have a plan in place, though, I feel more hopeful. I feel more in control and although my anxiety has not subsided, it has become more manageable. 

We got engaged in December 2018 and have been meticulously planning our wedding over the past 15+ months as you all have watched via my Wedding Wednesday posts. We were counting down the weeks and I truly couldn't wait. 

Our invitations had been sent, RSVP's had started rolling in, dress fittings, makeup trials, etc. had been done. We were ready to go. We were so ready to stand up on the altar in front of our nearest and dearest and commit to a lifetime together. 

But we made the call to postpone. No one forced us into it but we made the call to protect our guests. We made the call so that we wouldn't be a part of the spread. We made the call so that my 94-year-old grammie could watch me walk down the aisle. We made the call so that the dark cloud of covid-19 was not hanging over what is to hopefully be one of the happiest days of our lives.

Another reason we made the call is that there was still a lot we needed to do in terms of last-minute preparations for our wedding that required us to be able to meet with people in person. Even if it came to us being able to go through with our planned wedding date, the last-minute details would likely not have been able to take place. 

Planning a wedding is exciting, time-consuming and stressful. And although the stress was present, the joy always beat out the stress. That stress I was feeling before? I can't believe that I ever even considered it stress. 

Now, let's get to the bright side because there is one... there is always a bright side. We were able to postpone to a later date.

The flexibility, guidance, and compassion from our vendors was the most incredible thing. Their kindness and support had me in happy tears so many times. I wasn't planning on doing this until after our wedding, but I want to personally shout out each vendor. If you are in the planning stages of a wedding, please consider using these vendors. They have been incredible in this situation and many event industry businesses are small businesses and need business to stay up and running. 

The Duquesne Club// Our venue has been working tirelessly to move everything over to our new date. They have taken things in their own hands and been so kind and compassionate. 

St. Bernard Catholic Church// Our church had the priests themselves manning the phones, working tirelessly to make sure that every single one of their weddings could be taken care of and rescheduled. Our deacon was constantly texting me, keeping me in the loop and most importantly, praying for us.

Mosaic Linens// Susie was on it right away! She guided us and gave us advice and was entirely flexible and moved everything over for us. 

Dixie Design// Our stationery company has been incredible. They knew exactly how to proceed and I will share this info with all of you below so that if you are unfortunately in a similar situation to us, that you can use their guidance. We have a plan in place! 

Eventioneers// This is our rental company and the owner Lisa was so swift in updating our contract and getting everything moved over to our new date. She handled it with compassion and kindness. 

Mt. Lebanon Floral// Our florist reached out to us in the first place to make sure we were OK and said they were there for us whenever we needed them. Their flexibility was wonderful and gave us a great sigh of relief. 

Bachelor Boy Band// Our band was quick to let us know they were available for our new date. They made everything so easy and stress-free. 

Matt Mantyla and Derek Quinn// Our photographers swapped out the date with no issues. 

Tortorice Transportation// I gave them a call and they immediately made everything work for our new date, no questions asked. 

Hair By Courtney Benedetti// Courtney was so great in guiding me throughout all of this and was available for our new date.

Makeup by Tamie Konzier// Tamie was so quick to respond and went as far as to say she would move around a trip she has if need be... I mean talk about flexible. 

Judith Brown Calligraphy// Judith was so sweet and so kind when we told her there would be a great delay in when we would need the calligraphy done.

Cucina Bella// Carmen, the owner, went to my high school and he is so great. We LOVE Cucina Bella. For those of you who don't know, it's a local restaurant that specializes in Italian food. It's absolutely delicious. Carmen so easily swapped out our rehearsal dinner for the new date and we will be sure to be getting take out from Cucina Bella during our quarantine time to continuously support this great restaurant. 

Nemacolin Woodlands// We had our mini-moon scheduled there and they price matched our reservation (I didn't even have to ask) and moved it without hesitation.

Palmer Shonk// Palmer is our bagpiper (surprise!) and he was so great in being able to switch the date.

Bridal Beginnings// This is where I got my dress and they were so wonderful for being able to continuously store my dress and update my fitting schedule. 

Honeymoon// We also canceled our honeymoon. We were going to spend a few nights in London, then make our way to Southampton. We were going on a 14-night Baltic sea Celebrity cruise going to places like St. Petersburg, Russia, Copenhagen, Denmark, Berlin Germany, Stockholm, Sweden, etc. etc. Then we were going to end our trip with a few nights in Paris. We were going to be gone for 3 weeks and it was going to be the trip of a lifetime. The positive? Celebrity and all of the travel plans we had made were refunded in full. We are so thankful. Since timing will be completely different for a honeymoon we have to go back to the drawing board. We are not making plans any time soon because we need to see what the ability to travel will be in the future.

I also want to highlight something for those of you who might not be able to empathize with brides or think that their stress/sadness is trivial. Couples are heartbroken because they have to postpone something they have been planning and dreaming about for months, and in many bride's cases, their entire life. Rearranging a large number of moving parts (as you can see from all of the vendors I have listed above) is a tough task. Not to mention the reality of having to communicate with all of your guests, too. I'm so thankful to all of the vendors that were so helpful and compassionate. I know for many couples that not all of their vendors/venues/etc. are able to coordinate on the same date. There are huge problems, financial losses, and kinks that can occur if that is the case... which is why I say there is really no blanket advice for this because there are just so many moving parts to any wedding and no one can make these decisions for you. 

What we personally did to postpone was to first reach out to our church and venue as those were the two most important items in our mind. The biggest fear of mine was not being able to get a mutual date between the church and venue as we had issues with that when we started planning over a year out. We are very lucky that we got a date where they were both available. Then, we contacted the rest of the vendors with our fingers crossed that they would be available. We were amazed that they all were available. I am going to think of it as a wedding gift from my late grandma, pappy, and grandpa.

This is a tip for brides currently in the early stages of planning: make a vendor contact/info list where you have all of the information about every single vendor involved in your wedding and keep it updated. The ability to contact all of our vendors in an orderly fashion was truly due to the organized documents I had created. 

The next step was to inform our guests. We did so via text/calls as soon as everything was set with the church/venue/vendors. My parents, future mother in law, fiancé and I were all on our phones disseminating the information. We were especially swift in notifying the few guests with flights/more complicated travel plans. 

We then updated our wedding website to reflect the new information and are currently working with Dixie Design to send out a formal 'updates' card as well as new RSVP cards so people get something formal in the mail and we are able to recollect RSVP's in an orderly fashion. We have a big concern right now that many guests will not be able to attend our new date as people (understandably) make life plans so far ahead. We had given all of our guests over a year's notice so that they all were able to make arrangements to come to our wedding. We just have to keep our fingers crossed and if anything, we know that at the very least, our immediate families will be with us and at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

Dixie Design, our stationer has been absolutely brilliant in guiding us on the wording and all of that. They are even going to updated our old invitation with the new date so we would have it for framing, photos, etc.

Dixie Design went one step further and if you are a bride that has also been affected, they are currently offering digital files for you to use to text or email to your family and friends to notify them of the postponement and/or the new date. They are also offering to work with couples to create a 'details' card (like they are doing for me) at a reduced cost to couples facing similar situations (even if you are not currently a client). Dixie Design has been a dream to work with for all of our paper needs for our wedding and I could not urge you more to support their small business in any way you can. They do the best work! Even if you are not a bride, they have beautiful personalized stationery, gift, tags, and so much more.

I also went through all of the wedding items we had purchased thus far and made a list of all of the items we had purchased with our date on it. Now I know I need to reorder these items so that they reflect our new date. Thankfully, it wasn't much. I am the most relieved that we hadn't had my fiancé's wedding band engraved yet!

One other thing that we didn't' have to deal with was our marriage license as we weren't planning on getting that until today, actually (which we obviously aren't getting now). So, I'm not entirely sure what you do about that, but I wanted to mention that because it's an extremely important part of everything. I would assume this type of thing varies by state.

If you're currently going through the sadness and heartbreak right now from a postponed or canceled wedding, please know that I empathize with you. One thing that has become even clearer throughout this entire situation is that my fiancé and I are so lucky to have each other and if we can get through this mess, we can get through anything. We are also so lucky to have the support and love from our family and friends. It has helped us get through this with full hearts.

Moving forward, I am resuming with regular Wedding Wednesday content. I am running out of ideas now that we have a longer period of time until our wedding so if you have any ideas, let me know!

39 comments:

susan said...

I had wondered about this but certainly wasn’t going to ask... Your sadness is justified, as are any other feelings you may have. I am so sorry to hear you have to postpone your wedding, but am thrilled that everyone was able to come together to adjust everything for you. What a magnificent day it will be when it arrives... In the meantime, stay safe and healthy.

Annaliese said...

I am so, so sorry Sydney! My heart breaks for you reading this post. <3 Thinking of you and your fiance in this time!

xoxo A
www.southernbelleintraining.com

Emily said...

I am so sorry you had to postpone your wedding. You have every right to be stressed, anxious and heartbroken. I’m in the midst of planning an October 3 wedding and have to say that I’m still a bit worried! I’m so happy to hear that you were able to reorganize your vendors and find a new date, but I also know that must be hard too! After having identified ‘the’ date and counting down the days...

I know that my mom would love mother of the bride dress content as she’s having a hard time finding something elegant but not too matronly, and our moms seem to be similar in terms of age and style!

Faith said...

I'm so sorry - what a challenging thing to have to deal with! Not just the logistics, but the emotional impact. I do have to say - all of your plans sound amazing. As a fellow Pittsburgher, it makes me smile to see all of these local places. Hang in here and know when the day comes, it will be wonderful

Stephanie said...

Beautifully written Sydney, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. Praying for you!

Bianca B said...

I am soo soo sorry for your loss- and it is a loss. I am getting married in October and can't even imagine what you and so many other brides are going through. You spend so much time, effort and money planning this day and to have all your plans changed because of something you can't control is just horrible. My heart hurts for you- but wishing you all the best!

Bianca
https://navyismyneutral-bb.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

What a tough decision you had to make. But it sounds like you have a wonderful team to lean on during this process. Your attitude led you to the right decision and I hope only wonderful things come your way from here on out!!

Sharon said...

I'm really sorry you're going through all this. But you will have your dream wedding and it will be beautiful and amazing.

Molly Jean said...

You are absolutely justified in feeling sad, lost, anxious, angry-any of those feelings and more. I’m getting married in October and seeing all of these weddings having to get postponed just breaks my heart. I know most women dream of this day their entire lives and if something doesn’t go as planned it can definitely damper your view of your special day. You are SO lucky that your vendors were all available for a later date! I am so thankful that my fiancé and I don’t have to go through this, but at the same time praying for those that are. My fiancé and I discussed the possibility of this happening to us as well, even though we are hoping this all ends soon we never know what the repercussions will be, and in the end we just told ourselves to remember that the most important part of the wedding is that we get the chance to commit and love each other, so if things don’t go as planned we will roll with it. Stay positive and stress free!

Briana said...

I'm sorry to hear all of this, Sydney! As someone who has previously worked in wedding planning, I know how much detail and time goes into planning a big event (not to mention planning a honeymoon) and can't imagine how stressful it must be to have to handle all the moving pieces at this time. Hoping you have a beautiful day when your wedding does come around and I know you'll still have a trip of a lifetime honeymoon :) Sending you positive vibes.

Carly said...

so sorry syd but know your day is going to be so beautiful and so worth the wait! sending you all the good vibes xoxo

Anonymous said...

Sydney, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. I've been following your wedding posts and can tell how much time/thought/love you put into planning; the situation is just heartbreaking. While I've really enjoyed your wedding content, in light of all this, it would be completely understandable if you didn't want to continue the Wedding Wednesday posts or take a hiatus for now!

My fiance and I have a friend who has had their wedding planned (for 18+ months!) for the end of May and they are starting the postponement process. When we spoke to him yesterday the only consolation I could give was that when the time does come for the wedding, everyone will be so, so, SO excited to celebrate and it will be that much more joyful! I'm sure this will be the case for you as well. Sending you light during this time, hang in there!

Kate said...

Sydney - I am so sad for you! It sounds like you have a great support system and plan in place to have the wedding of your dreams at a later date. I know other brides going through the same thing right now. It is so disappointing, I can't even imagine. I really believe when the day comes it will be more wonderful than you ever imagined.

Chelsea Gutierrez said...

I am so so sorry Sydney! You have been such a delight and huge help to me and my now husband during our wedding season . I can only imagine how you feel. You are so brave to make this decision and I can only send you love and well wishes as all of this continues to happen. Your wedding will be so spectacular and I cannot wait to see it all unfold! Thank you for sharing and for continuing to be a light in all of this!

Lo said...

I am so sorry! A close friend of mine had to cancel hers since it would've required plane travel for so many of her guests (among the other reasons of course), and I can't imagine how heartbroken all brides must be. I had to postpone my son's 2nd birthday party and his first ever trip to the beach, and I absolutely cried. I'm still upset about it. So to have something on a scale like yours would be absolutely crushing, and you're allowed to feel any type of way you need about it. Yes, perspective is great to have, but it's also not helpful to tell anyone their feelings aren't valid because things could be worse. (Would you ever tell someone they shouldn't be happy because there are technically better/happier things happening?) Thinking of you and wishing you the best!

Kendall Riddell said...

Sydney, I'm so sorry you've had to make this impossible decision. You have every right to mourn this loss, and feel all the emotions associated with it. Just think what an incredible celebration y'all will have when your new wedding day arrives. My husband and I are expecting our first son in 5 weeks, and had to make the tough decision to cancel our baby shower. While it's not the same scale as a wedding, I can totally empathize with the feeling of loss an disappointment over the cancellation. Thank you for always sharing in a genuine, thoughtful manner. I sincerely enjoy and appreciate all that you do for this community.

Anonymous said...

I can’t even imagine what it is like to be in your shoes right now but I wanted to comment that the Bachelor Boys played my wedding 3 years ago and they were AMAZING!

Anonymous said...

Wow I can’t even imagine! How lucky are you that all your vendors essentially had the date open? Silver lining!

Kaylee said...

Sydney I cannot even imagine what you are feeling right now! I beyond appreciate you keeping this blog a bright spot during this time, even on a post as heart breaking as this. I applaud you for keeping the safety of your guests in mind, and thank you personally for keeping your blog something I look forward to waking up and reading. I have been following your blog for the last 7 years and love watching you grow up just 2 years ahead of me and drawing so much inspiration from you! Thanks for the support you've given your blog community all of these years, and I hope you feel it back from us now! I'm excited to continue reading your wedding content, and reading about how the day is that much more worth it now! Keeping you and your family in my prayers during this time! XO

Katie G said...

A lot of my friends are in similar boats and by no way is this easy or fair to any of you. So glad you were able to postpone and still get the wedding you planned and deserve!!

just ask beth said...

you absolutely have the right to feel sad and disappointed. Nothing wrong with that.

Bianca said...

I've in the middle of doing all of this and having to work it around my brothers' wedding I am planning for the fall. I understand how hard it is and that in some areas you have to start over planning too. I know the new wedding date will turn out perfect!

Whitney said...

So sad but very glad you were able to reschedule. I cannot even start planning my wedding yet because everything here is closed. I wanted to get married in October 2021 and I hope that is still possible, but who knows with these uncertain times. Stay healthy!

Andra said...

Oh sweet girl. I am so very sorry for you but you're handling it like a beautiful sophisticated woman. I literally cried when I read the part about your grammie. You are an amazing woman - do you know that? Thank you for sharing your journey with us and for your honesty and always positive light. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Deanna Tomaselli said...

What a heartbreak. I am so sorry you had to do this, but you are doing so with grace!

Tracy said...

My heart just hurts for you. It's already an extremely emotional time for a regular person - I cannot even imagine how you, your fiancé, and your families must be feeling. What a gift though that your church, venue, and vendors have been so wonderful and accommodating! Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

Kelly said...

Heartbroken for you!! I had a wedding client slated to get married last weekend who had to make the difficult decision to postpone until September. This is one of those things you could never anticipate!! I'm so sorry. Ugh!!!

Shannon said...

We had to postpone ours too and the devastation I feel is insurmountable. We were lucky that we were able to move ours with our vendors and venue so easily, but regardless, I really appreciated this post.

Molly said...

Sending you so much love right now. My heart is breaking for everyone planning weddings, graduations, trips, career moves, etc. during all of this. You're doing a great job. <3

Brittany H said...

Sydney,

I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. What I keep telling myself is that when we are all back in society and things are normal, it's going to be that much more fun. Your wedding is going to be the wedding to end all weddings for your guests. Everyone is going to be rearing to go and you deserve to have the best time.. even if it isn't when you want it. Praying for you during this tough time!!

xoxo,
Britt
www.basicbritt.com

Wifer said...

Sending you so much love! A big hug lady.

Anonymous said...

So sorry you’re affected by the virus in this way. Your day will be perfect, even though it is belated! Would love to hear about any changes you’re making (décor, florals, etc.) given the date swap, when you’re ready. Take time to process and feel - it is 100% okay to grieve this change in plans!

Bridget said...

Oh Sydney, this is a very disappointing situation. I am so sorry you are going through this and having to change all your well thought through plans. Dear remember, something spectacular will come out of this that would of never happened with the original plan. Xoxo ❤️

hollygolightly said...

I am truly sorry to read this about your wedding. It must have been awful seeing this play out over the past month knowing that you had your wedding coming up. Your ability to keep positive (which you always seem to do) is wonderful. It is just a surreal, anxious and bleak time but honestly, reading and following your blog and everything that you chronicle, is such a daily joy. I have learnt a ton about wedding planning also, so thank you!! I am so glad you have been able to reschedule and have vendors who have managed to be so flexible. Keep yourself safe, Katie xxx

Linda Dostie said...

What an incredibly difficult time you are going through! I’m so sorry!

Suzanne said...

Just catching up, I'm so sorry, this is truly devastating! I'm struggling with a high school senior who is missing his final spring sports season and will most likely not walk across a stage in his cap and gown on May 16th. It is painful to have these life celebrations taken away, hopefully we can all find a silver lining! Stay strong, you will have your day!!

Anonymous said...

Oh no! While, I'm so sorry to hear that you've had to postpone your wedding, I am glad that you have found another date so quickly and that your special day won't be marred by worries about the pandemic. You and your fiance have a lifetime together. It begins when it begins. - KLV in PHL

Lucym said...

Sydney, I’m so sorry to read this, but unfortunately it’s our new normal. I hope you didn’t have to postpone it too much longer, but no matter the date, it will be beautiful and a special day for you and your fiancé.

mlb said...

Syndey! I am so sorry about your wedding. You were one of the first people I thought of when I started hearing weddings were being put off. I'm praying for you guys and know things will get better. XOXO, Maggie Boohaker

 

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