Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Let's Hear It For the Boys

When I asked what to write about on Summer Wind, I got a great response through comments and e-mails! I am so appreciative for all of the input!
  Several people wanted to know about my dating life. As much as I can totally understand the curiosity and as much as I would love to post about it, I just can't. I am truly sorry to disappoint anyone. I try really hard to be as open as possible on Summer Wind so, instead of avoiding the topic, I want to explain why I don't talk about guys I like, am dating, etc.
Because of my audience
The boys that I date/have dated/like/dislike/etc. read here. I think the only time I would put my relationship on Summer Wind is if I were engaged. I just think it would make things so awkward if I referred to guys without their permission, not to mention, it would be disrespectful to their privacy. I think it could get me in a bit of a predicament!! 
It is also because my family, friends, coworkers, boss, etc. read here. Pretty much, everyone, I know IRL (in 'real' life) knows about /reads this blog and supports it, which is awesome and I appreciate it so much!! But, I also wouldn't necessarily tell all of those people about my dating life. This is my mentality when deciding what to post on SW. As much as I would like to share more about my personal life, I feel that it is not appropriate. I am very careful as to what I put on this blog as the entire world could read if they wanted to. I hope you all can understand and respect this! 
Billboard Mentality 
My mentality is that if I wouldn't want it up on a billboard, then I won't post it. I write about what I can and try to be as transparent as possible (this post, for example, was the hardest post I have ever written, and I loved writing this and this and this and this). I really try to get close to that 'line' without crossing it! If you have any suggestions on specific real-life topics that I can write about, please let me know! 
What Would I Want in This Situation?
If the situation was reversed and I was dating a male blogger, I would not appreciate being put on his website. I think that it would be weird if I was casually dating, let's say a sports blogger, and he paused his usual topics of baseball and football to write about me/our dates. I think the same goes for Summer Wind.
I could potentially write about my dating life with vague references (like this) and generalizations and Taylor Swift lyrics (because really, I can always find a TSwift song that applies to my situation or lack of), but, how frustrating is reading something that is so incredibly vague? 
I think if you would like to read more about dating as a 20-something, I could possibly incorporate what I wear on dates or my favorite date night spots in Pittsburgh on Summer Wind?! I would really love to write about my worst date ever (because that totally happened and it's so funny, now) or how I got over a bad breakup but that would be entirely disrespectful to the guy. Anyone else have any ideas? 
One thing I will share about my dating life (that I feel is appropriate to share) is that, in general, I am very old fashioned. Frank said it best, of course, but I personally would not ask a guy out on a date, text a new guy first, call a guy first, etc. This isn't because I am shy or scared, but I just really appreciate a gentleman. Someone who asks me out on a nice date, someone who is not afraid to pick up the phone and call for no reason, who isn't afraid to 'text first' and who will hold the door, help me with my coat, walk me to my car, make sure I get home OK, etc. I think chivalry is certainly not dead and I expect that from any guy I date! 
If you are a blogger, do you incorporate your love life on your blog? I know this is a completely personal choice so please know that this is the choice I have made, but not necessarily the 'right' choice!


Portuguese Prepster said...

I totally understand! Before dating my now serious boyfriend, I kept boys off my blog. Most situations in college don't work out so I thought it would be awkward if they ever read it! I also asked my boyfriend before mentioning him for the first time on my blog if he was okay with it, which he was! I completely respect people's need for privacy!

Miss Southern Prep said...

I totally understand and agree with your philosophy! I would be so embarrassed if some guy wrote about me on my blog without me knowing!

Heather A. said...

I really respect how you keep so much of your personal life private from your blog! I would totally do the same thing because like you said, if you were in that situation, how would you want to be treated? I love the idea of trying to incorporate this topic with "date night" outfits or fun date ideas though!

Emily said...

I definitely understand where you are coming from! I used to be more open, but the more I blogged and the longer I blogged I began realizing that my personal life is totally public if/when I post about it. I made my blog a life + style blog so that I can talk about ASPECTS of my life, while keeping the main focus on style. I always get a little freaked out when people know a lot about my life, but don't actually know me. My blog is SNIPPETS of my actual life & I like to keep it that way. I think it's healthy to not put everything out there!!

Christine said...

You are so spot on in this post! I 100% agree with you!

Tory Banknell said...

I couldn't agree more. I never mention guys on my blog because I think it would be incredibly awkward if they ever read it. It literally makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. Plus I feel like things change so rapidly in that department in your 20s that is would be exhausting to my readers to bore them with the constant roller coaster of my romantic life.

RoyallyPink said...

I never write about my love life, only because my love life is very recent. I did write one very general post on an article I read in Cosmo and my male friend took it the complete wrong way. He did not like the fact that I was even talking about relationships on my blog (granted its none of his business). I definitely agree that it's probably not a good idea to write about a person you're involved with without their permission. The backlash isn't worth it.


Unknown said...

I completely agree & respect your thoughts on this subject. I especially enjoyed reading the Billboard Mentality -- I really think more people could apply this to their personal branding on social media in our generation. And yes, chivalry is not dead! Great post!

Unknown said...

I love that you are so old-fashioned in regards to dating (Sinatra quote). Chivalry is definitely NOT dead!

Anonymous said...

There's nothing wrong with a little restraint in this highly exposed digital age. But, I fear it has gone the way of the handwritten note. -KLV in PHL

Alexandra said...

LOVE that you are on-board with old fashioned dating mentalities (I would NEVER move in with a beau before marriage for example!) - But maybe a post when you finally get "the ring" - because I'm sure it will be a stunner ;)

Jordan said...

Could not have said it better myself! I have so much respect for your stand on dating and expectations out of men today. I do believe that chivalry is not dead, we just need to see more of it! Thank you for being a great example to young women everywhere, who are all still waiting to meet "the one".


Natalie said...

My husband still helps me with my coat and we are in our mid30's. Good for you for not putting it all out there!

Elias said...

Great post!Chivary is not dead but it has became a rare trait in men in todays society. I'm a male who is a blogger and totally feel the same way.Big fan of your blog!

Unknown said...

I agree with you... I am very old-fashioned when it comes to dating. I'm not a wallflower kind of girl by any means... I work in a crazy, male-driven specialty in the medical field, but when it comes to dating, I so much appreciate manners and a gentleman. Rare qualities these days though. I generally keep my dating life out of my blog. I have alluded to it in the past, but then decided I wanted my blog to be less about personal details. Anyway, great post! Keep your head, heels, and standards high ;)

Unknown said...

I love your stance on this! I think its incredibly wise for you to keep your dating life private. On my blog, I only sometimes include my fiance because this blog isn't about us, it's about me and what I can give to my readers. Plus he doesn't like being in front of the camera, only behind them. I applaud your decision! I wish more bloggers would follow suit!



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