Pittsburgh is special. I know that I’m biased and I know that people who have never experienced Pittsburgh could be rolling their eyes at this statement. But it really is special. Pittsburgh is warm and friendly. Pittsburgh is known as accepting- a melting pot of race, religion, and heritage
The people in Pittsburgh are strong. Pittsburghers are hardworking. Pittsburgh is unpretentious.
Pittsburgh is also a small world. A big city of many, but it feels like a small town. A funny example is that when my mom and dad went out on their first date. They were from two very different parts of Pittsburgh, but when my mom told her parents that she was going out with my dad (she told them his full name), my grandma freaked out and asked ‘well how old is he?!’ My dad and grandpa have the same name. It turned out, my grandma (my mom’s mom) and my grandpa (my dad’s dad) went to college together and my grandma thought that my mom was talking about my grandpa! Small world, indeed.
It’s Saturday morning at 10:30am. I’m sitting in my hotel room in Lexington, Kentucky getting ready. My parents had gone out to get donuts and coffee before we headed to Keeneland for our yearly visit. My boyfriend called me because he was in the car with Henry on the way to Chik Fil A. He lives in Shadyside and was en route to the Waterfront. The route he took that morning and any time he goes to The Waterfront is to pass right past the Tree of Life synagogue.
We were chatting about what errands he was running that morning and all of the sudden he goes ‘oh my gosh, Sydney, google what is going on in Squirrel Hill. I’m on Shady and there are an insane amount of police cars and sirens.’ He was passing right by the Tree of Life synagogue.
I promptly google Squirrel Hill. An area I frequent often. An area where my mom grew up. Nothing was coming up in my searches. I turned to Twitter, a few tweets were saying there was an active shooter. This was so early on that no news outlets had even picked it up yet.
I promptly turned on the news and started scouring the internet for more information. My stomach was sick and my eyes were welled up with tears.
I was watching my city, my home, my people go through a tragedy that was unfathomable. I was just watching in absolute disbelief. To see such hatred anywhere is sickening but to see it in your own city where you know there are so many wonderful, good people, is almost unbelievable.
I am proud of Pittsburgh. I am proud of the people in this city and I will pray for all of the people and families affected from this horrible act of hatred and violence.
It has been incredible to watch my city react with such an outpouring of love, prayers, and support. It was incredible to see the amazing law enforcement and first responders doing absolutely everything they could. The way Pittsburgh has come together is a true testament to the community we have in this city. I will forever be proud to be a Pittsburgher and forever be proud to call this great melting pot of a city my home.
I wanted to touch on something that I think we may all be able to learn from. At about 1pm, I received a direct message on Instagram from a follower.
She said ‘love your blog, but quite frankly, I am shocked that, especially as someone from Pittsburgh, that you haven’t commented in today’s tragic shootings.’
I was a bit confused as to why I had even received that message. I had retweeted the safety directions from the Pittsburgh Department of Safety as the shooter was active. I had also tweeted a message of support and condolences. But that’s not the point and I don’t need to defend myself in that.
To receive that message was a little frustrating. I know the sender did not mean to be hateful or hurtful. I’ve been blogging for almost 10 years now and my skin is very thick. I can recognize a truly hateful comment or a comment made to specifically try and hurt me. I can also recognize a truly bogus, unwarranted comment. I’m also able to respect people’s opinions and openly accept and appreciate constructive criticism.
But this message stuck with me. Because you know what bothered me about it? It was not supportive. It was not thoughtful. I found it to have an accusatorial tone to it. The message was sent so hastily. (2 hours after the news started to break). This person was so quick to judge and point a finger at me.
The message made me cry. I'm not really a cryer and I can tell you that I never cry over stranger’s message on social media.
It made me cry because if I were that person, I would have messaged the Pittsburgher and said, ‘I am so sorry to hear I of the tragic news in Pittsburgh, I wanted to check in on you and let you know I am thinking of you and praying for Pittsburgh. I hope you and your family is safe.’
And you know what? I received so many messages just like that from so many of you. I didn’t need those messages but they reminded me of the wonderful Summer Wind community that has been built for the last 10 years. It was a simple reminder that there are good, kind, caring people in this world.
My point in sharing this with you all is that we are all guilty of pointing fingers and being quick to judge in any situation big or small. We all need to be much more accepting and compassionate with one another.
Behind that message, I was dealing with heartbreak and just because I did not immediately jump to share my emotional state on social media, does not mean I don’t care and I don’t have feelings. Everyone handles grief differently. We are all human and we are all just trying to be and do the best we can.
I hope we can all work on being better about being quick to judge and we can all be more compassionate and empathetic toward one another- especially in times of such tragedy.
My heart breaks for my city and everyone affected, but I will work hard for all of my life to be a light in a sometimes dark world. This has been my mission here on Summer Wind from the very beginning. I hope you can all join me in this and together we can make the world a better place. I will be a Pittsburgher forever and always support my neighbors near and far. Please pray for Pittsburgh and please pray for those who lost their lives and their families and friends they left behind:
Joyce Fienberg, 75, of Oakland;
Richard Gottfried, 65, of Ross;
Rose Mallinger, 97, of Squirrel Hill;
Jerry Rabinowitz, 66, of Edgewood;
brothers Cecil Rosenthal, 59, of Squirrel Hill, and David Rosenthal, 54, of Squirrel Hill;
married couple Bernice Simon, 84, of Wilkinsburg; Sylvan Simon, 86, of Wilkinsburg;
Daniel Stein, 71, of Squirrel Hill;
Melvin Wax, 88, of Squirrel Hill;
Irving Younger, 69, of Mount Washington
*List of names source.
Please consider donating to the Tree of Life Synagogue. This is a verified GoFundMe. The American Red Cross has scheduled a blood drive on Friday, November 2nd from 11am to 4:30pm at the William Pitt Union on the University of Pittsburgh's campus. You can make an appointment, here.
'Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.' - Martin Luther King Jr.
23 comments:
Thank you for your thoughtful post. I found it sympathetic, heartfelt, and perfectly timed. I am a Pittsburgher by marriage. My husband was born & raised in Baldwin and we lived in Squirrel Hill --just minutes away from Tree of Life -- while he was in law school at Pitt. My heart is heavy for the 'Burgh.
Hi Sydney! This post was beautifully written! I knew you would speak about this tragedy when you were ready. I am from Orlando and my city went through the Pulse shootings. Everyone deals with tragedy in their own way, and I hope whoever wrote that comment to you apologizes and realizes that they were not being kind. Those of us that are part of this Summerwind community feel like we know you because of how much you are willing to share with us. We must remember that even though you share a part of your life with us, you don't share every feeling and unfortunately this might be the reason why.
You should be proud of everything you do on here and don't let one person make you cry. You are a class act and should be proud of how you handled everything and how you always continue to rise above everything.
I hope that you have a great week and I hope Pittsburgh knows that the rest of the world is with them <3 #pittsburghstrong
Shannon
This is a beautiful tribute to the city you love and call home. I'm so sorry that you encountered that statement; as a longtime blogger and influencer, I never really understand the lines that a small group of followers think they are entitled to cross.
The events at Tree of Life are so heartbreaking and senseless. We had something similar happen here in Louisville last week -- a racially motivated shooting at a grocery store, after the shooter had first attempted to target an African-American church. When it happens in your town, it just takes on a whole new meaning for you. It isn't far away. It isn't something you can put in the back of your mind. It is something you have to confront and examine, and it is so gut wrenching.
Hope Keeneland was otherwise a good trip! It's my all-time favorite track and always so much fun!!
My heart is so heavy for Pittsburgh but your post was a good reminder that there are kind people everywhere- you especially. My thoughts and prayers are with the city of Pittsburgh and I will stand with you in being a light. Well said.
Always so eloquently said. Whether you are talking about a beautiful sweater, the love you have for your family, or (unfortunately) a tradgedy. You have a way with words and it is so clear to me why God chose you for this task.
Hi Sydney...I am also from Pittsburgh and I also have not commented until today. I posted this morning regarding the shooting and frankly I feel like I needed that "extra time" just to process what had happened. It's crazy to me that this happened in our city...it is simply something that does not happen in Pittsburgh. I totally get everything you said above. I am praying so hard for the families and friends of not only those that died but also those that were sooooo terrorized that Saturday morning. Hugs and comfort from a fellow Pittsburgher - I am so sorry that an thoughtful and mean person made you cry...you are amazing! Stay strong and know that so many people love and care for you - there will always be jerks...stay focused on those that support and care! HUGS!
I am in an airport and sitting close to me is a Jewish gentlemen saying his prayers. I want to hug him and tell him how sad I am for all of humanity. Your post was loving and thoughtful. I will carry your community close to my heart in the coming days. Hate is not an answer, love is the only way.
Praying for those affected, and for the strength and resilience of Pittsburgh as a whole. No one deserves to go through something this terrible, and no one should ever be judged for the way they process such a tragedy. You were in no way obligated to comment on it at all, but you did so with love and empathy and no one can condemn you for that.
Hi Sydney. I'm a long time follower of your blog, and have often commented on how original, trustworthy, and thoughtful your content is. First of all, my heart goes out to Pittsburgh, and everyone in your community who was affected. I live in Boston and I remember how raw and helpless I felt after the marathon bombings, and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
That said, to be honest, I was a little surprised by your Instagram stories on Saturday. Not because you did not "address" the tragedy (it's not your responsibility to address and, frankly, private acts of reflection and service are often more sincere), but because the content was so chipper and festive - it seemed a bit dissonant, if not insensitive, to the tragic events going on in your community. Nonetheless I gave you the benefit of the doubt, because you seem to be a kind and thoughtful person, and trusted that you would post something heartfelt - which of course you did! However, I DID think about messaging you, to let you know about what happened, in case you were too preoccupied to be watching the news. Maybe - giving that commenter the benefit of the doubt as well that is what he/she intended too? Just trying to see the best in people. And if the commenter was trying to be mean/accusatory? Screw them. Anyone who would add to the negativity on such an awful day isn't anyone worth listening to.
As for your post today, I would try to remember that any cyber-bullying/negativity you experience (while awful, and not to be diminished), absolutely pales in comparison to pain and suffering that the victims and their families continue to endure. It really is a reminder of how fortunate we our to wake up health and safe with our love ones each morning, and how everything else is just "BS".
Anyways, I tried to be very thoughtful in this response to mirror the effort put into your post, in the hopes of engaging in discourse that helps us all grow. Thank you for your hard work creating content I look forward to reading every day!
Sydney, I am much older than you but I always look to you for style tips, entertaining ideas, and more. I follow other influencers and I have to say, you are always top of my mind because of your class and grace. It is unparalleled. You so perfectly captured the spirit of Pittsburgh in your post today. I have been reading your blog for years and the love you have for your city and its people has always been so apparent. Any Pittsburgher would be proud of what you have posted today. I will be praying for Pittsburgh and for our country. You are a true light and please don't let anyone ever let you feel otherwise.
Your post brought tears to my eyes - for the umpteenth time since Saturday morning, like so many of us in Pittsburgh and those with Pittsburgh in our hearts. Please know that rude commentator is in the minority but they brought out your beautiful words for those of us who support your work!
Anonymous,
I really appreciate and respect your thoughtful comment and the time you took out of your busy day to put together your thoughts.
I understand where you are coming from in regard to my instastories and those seeming dissonant and I am very sorry that they might have come off that way to you or anyone else.
I chose not to post to Instagram Saturday until Monday evening... I was having a hard time understanding what went on as well as I am also not one to take to social media when my emotions are running high.
It was also a personal decision not to address the situation at all until all of the news was legitimate. As I mentioned in this blog post, in my hotel room, I was hearing about it from my boyfriend while it was happening and nothing had hit the news yet. There was very little information that I could get a hold of so I wanted to make sure I addressed the situation once I was fully informed. Hence, no instastories on Sunday while I was still on a vacation with family and friends, once I had received more information. Hopefully that can clarify that a bit for you and anyone else that may have had a similar thought.
As for cyber-bullying, my intent in sharing the story of the DM was not to address cyber-bullying. I, in no way, consider that cyber-bullying and I can assure you that I have received legitimate cyber-bullying to a terrible extent and know how to distinguish that. I was also sure to give that person the benefit of the doubt as I mentioned in my post that I in no way considered the message to be hateful in any way! Nor was I trying to compare the DM I received to the events that unfolded. I was not asking for poeple to pity me or anything of that nature.
My message, was more of one to be more empathetic towards others and be less judgemental of human beings as we are all trying to do the best we can... it's an easy way to bring light and happiness into a world that has been filled with darkness. It's just something I thought would inspire others to be more considerate. In a time where we all can be filled with hopelessness and helplessness, it's something that we can all work on now to help our world be a better place. I am sorry if you misunderstood what I was getting at.
I hope that clarifies some of the issues you might have had with my social media presence and my mesaging in today's blog post! I really appreciate your feedback as well as your support!!! Xx
I agree with the anonymous poster above, as a reader, it was very off putting to see insta stories about expensive plates and horse races and not a single thing about Pittsburgh. It is simple to repost one of the many news outlets information between Saturday evening and Monday night. I get needing time to process but why post at all then to insta? You may have posted to twitter but it looks like you have way more insta followers. Your post today was thoughtful but also comes across as defensive. Constructive feedback is not cyber-bullying.
Your post today was beautiful. I rarely read the comment area of a blog post, but today I read them. The 'anonymous' commenter, while somewhat respectfully written, was doing exactly what you were talking about in your blog post. She was trying to find anything to fault you for and not leading with empathy and understanding. I doubt many others would be able to write such a beautiful post as you did.
I am a high school counselor and one of the things I often try to teach my students is that sometimes you just can't win. And quite honestly, you are far too kind because if I had to reply to the anonymous commenter, I would have just said 'leave me alone!'
You do not need to stick up for yourself or explain yourself to anyone. We can all see that you are a good person with a good heart.
#unmatched,
Please read my response to 'anonymous' and maybe you will better understand where I was coming from. Nothing I do will ever please everyone and I am fully understanding and OK with that!
A moving and heartfelt post today. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I hope the commenters who think they are providing 'constructive' feedback understand that this is exactly the type of judgment and lack of empathy that is unnecessary. Their comments are taking away from the great tribute that you wrote today. Your response was perfect and just further proves what a wonderful woman you are. Keep being you! I am praying for Pittsburgh!
Sydney, Well said. I know your feelings of frustration with the negative comments. My beloved Chicago hometown, St. Louis and Baltimore former and current residence cities have all had a share of horrible senseless shootings. But all of the people we have lived and worked next to, worshiped along side and volunteered with keep the faith and God’s Grace against evil and hate. As one of the survivors said reach out and hold on to one another! Peace.
Sending you love and my thoughts to your city! Hope you also had a wonderful time with family in Kentucky.
Thank you Sydney for taking the time to write about this tragic event. I have been reading many blogs and you have been the only one to acknowledge this event. Thank you . I am attending a Memorial service in Michigan this Saturday. Again Thank you for your kind words.
Just want to send hugs and prayers. I am an older blog reader, and have always thought about how thoughtful, classy, and respectful you are. You cannot please everyone. Your posting was timely, well-thought out and appropriate.
Stay strong.
Thank you Sydney for acknowledging this tragic event. I have been reading several blogs since Saturday and this terrible event has not been mentioned at all. I will be attending a Memorial service this Saturday in Michigan. Thank you again for writing your kind words.
I always appreciate your thoughtfulness in sharing parts of yourself!
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