Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Wedding Wednesday: My New Monogram

Wedding Wednesday: My New Monogram
If you are married, did you change your name? I'm quite fond and attached to Carver (my current last name) but I am also happy to take my fiancé's last name. His last name starts with 'S'.

Right now, my middle name is Elizabeth so I will be dropping that and Carver will become my middle name. I have never been attached to Elizabeth so I'm really fine with dropping it!

So, my monogram will go from sCe to sSc! It's exciting but also a little weird because when I see sSc, it's unfamiliar! Our married monogram will be sSa.

As you all know, I love monograms. In college, I swear I had everything imaginable monogrammed. Since then, I have toned it down but I still love monogrammed pillows, jewelry, linens, barware, and stationery.

I definitely think there are subtle and elegant ways to incorporate monograms into so many things! My favorite subtle monogram tip is to do a small monogram in the same thread color that you are monogramming.

A lot of what I own is monogrammed with sCe and to be honest, I won't necessarily be replacing the items, but just adding in more items with my new monogram! Like I said, I am attached to Carver so I don't mind that I will have a home filled with my single girl monogram, too! I wear a signet ring on my pinky finger every single day that is monogrammed with sCe and I plan on forever wearing it and never having the monogram changed!
weezie monogrammed towels
The first item I have ever gotten with my new married monogram on it are these Weezie towels! It was such a lovely gift from the Weezie team! Not only did I need new towels for my new house, but it was SO much fun to see my new initials in the flesh for the first time.

I was sent the Starter Pack set which is 4 bath towels and 2 hand towels. I got the light blue color in the Ardsley font and they could not be more gorgeous. They are so thick, super absorbent and I love that they do not produce much lint! 

Did you know that the super traditional way to do a married monogram is to do 'groom first, groom last, bride first'. This is because you are 'technically' not supposed to separate the man's name from their last name.

Nowadays, it's flip-flopped to be bride's first, groom's last, groom's first'...ladies first, duh! Honestly, I'm usually one to go with the more old school option, but in this case, our married monogram would have literally spelled out A-S-S!!! Certainly can't have that so we are adopting the more modern trend and doing sSa as our married monogram. Although, it would have been hilarious had we chosen the former! 

We are going to go with tradition in using the woman's monogram on linens (hence why I used my new married monogram on the towels) and then our married monogram on things like barware.

I am not doing a wedding monogram (or at least as of right now I'm not) and if anything will be monogrammed for our wedding, it will be little touches like cocktail napkins. 

Again, as much as I am a traditionalist, when it comes to monograms, I honestly would throw what's 'right' to the wind and use whatever monogram you think looks best!

I also fully plan on using my monogrammed items in my home before we are married. That's a major no-no if you are following tradition- you are not supposed to use your monogram until you are married (bad luck!!!), hence why a lot of invitations use the bride and groom's first initials.

At first, I thought that I would wait until we are married, but, I honestly could not care less. I am not going to let beautiful items sit in a closet for an entire year just waiting until it's 'appropriate' to use them. 

We have already received so many beautiful things from our engagement party that either has my new last name on it or our married monogram. Plus, since I am moving into my new home soon, I am needing to order so many new things like towels, bedding, etc. that just can't wait until my shower/our wedding! It just doesn't make any practical sense to order things with my single monogram just because it's considered 'bad luck'. I'm just not superstitious like that!

I will say, I won't personally be wearing anything with my new monogram until we are officially married. I guess I'm half sticking with tradition, hah! So for example, I will be ordering monogrammed Jack Rogers as my dancing shoes (during the reception) when I don't want to wear my heels any longer and won't wear those before the wedding. I also wouldn't wear a monogrammed robe (with our married monogram) on my wedding morning and I won't use stationery or wear jewelry with my married monogram until after the wedding. But seriously, to each their own- I truly think this type of thing doesn't matter!

Also, I probably will not be wearing anything that says 'Mrs. S___' on it. I don't really love items with Mrs. on them. I have no reason as to why and no judgment when others wear it, it's just not my thing!

Did you take your husband's last name? Do you do your married monogram or your personal monogram on items in your home? 


Annaliese said...

Oh my gosh- laughed out loud about what your married monogram would be the traditional way! Haha. My mom kept her maiden name after marrying my dad, and I have a double last name. I've always thought that is way too long- so I think if I get married someday I will take his name! But that would definitely be weird I'm sure not to use my monogram anymore. Loved this post!!

xoxo A

Unknown said...

Married 11 years and faced a similar question about using wedding gifts "early" -- we had a long engagement because we were long distance, so gifts were spread out a bit. I put ours aside to use only after the wedding, monogram or no, because I loved (and still do!) the idea of having their use symbolize the start of our married life! So, for example, when our first set of gifted towels wore out, we were able to reminisce about what babies we were when hanging them in the bathroom for the first time.

Now, if you're buying new things for your new house yourself that you'll need right away (king sheets etc)... why bother getting them monogrammed now, whether current or future monogram? You can always use plain things now and get them monogrammed post-wedding!

And I hope your wedding Jacks are a kind that doesn't need breaking in!!! Blister city if you're wearing classic-style unworn Jacks for a long night of dancing!

Ashley said...

I kept all my names when I made the switch. You can have two middle names if you want to. For monograms and professionally, i just use first/maiden initial/new last though. I always knew I would take my husband’s last name but the first few weeks were very strange. It felt kind of sad to let go of the only name I’ve ever known and the one my parents gave me. 9 months in and it i have definitely adjusted. I think i will feel most connected to my new name when we have kids down the road and we will all share our last name.

Laura said...

I kept my maiden name. My last name is long and my husband’s last name is even longer. I am fairly attached to my last name and didn’t see the point in going through all that trouble to make my long last name even longer. Maybe one day when we have kids I’ll consider changing it but for now it’s not something I am rushing to do. In terms of monogramming, I opt to just use our first initials on things and leave out the last name. I’m in my mid twenties so just starting the wedding season rush but for those who I do know who got married, I am the only one who has kept my last name. To each their own!

Annie said...

I just got married and took my husband's last name. I dropped my maiden name and kept my middle name (also Elizabeth!)...I was named after my great grandmother so I feel such a connection to that. I wore a monogrammed button down on my wedding morning with my new monogram and my girls also had baseball caps made for my bachelorette party with our monograms on them. Part of my bridal party gift were monogrammed seersucker train cases. I was never into monograms before this, so I think it's hilarious that I went so far in the opposite direction. :) Can't wait to see more of your planning!

maryphoebe said...

I'm getting the monogrammed Jacks for our reception as well! We are doing a wedding monogram/crest because I like the personalization and we soooo many people from out of town, it was a fun way to "brand" the weekend!

Kristen said...

I always assumed I would take my husband's name upon marriage, but I didn't end up doing so. It just never felt right to me. Then I expected that after we had a child I would really feel inclined to do so, but that didn't happen either! The more I thought about it, the more it somewhat irked me that it is an expectation of women only. Good for some, not for me! No judgement towards anyone who does change it (my mom did!); I am just glad we live in a time when women can decide for themselves what they'd prefer to do.

Love the towels, by the way! I've seen Weezie all over Instagram and am interested to see them in person. Matouk towels are my favorite but monogramming them isn't as convenient as Weezie seems to make it!

Kelsey said...

I changed my name when I got married in October 2016. I have more of an attachment to my middle name and because my first name ends with Y and my maiden name ends with Y, for the sake of my signature, I chose to keep my middle name and change my last name to my husbands. We don’t use our married monogram in our home because my husband is always so confused by them. I do have two items with my “new” monogram that I wear often, a monogram necklace and the robe from getting ready on my wedding day. We also have wine glasses etched with the first letter of our last name which are always fun to use!

I am so excited for you and your new adventure of homeownership and engaged life soon to be married.

Anonymous said...

totally agree with not wearing your new monogram before the wedding - but definitely wear your new jacks in, even if its just to take your dog for a walk around the block! even if you've never had a problem with jacks before, it's worth it to scuff up the bottoms a little bit so they're not as slick on the dance floor!

Sara said...

I took my husband's last name and kept my middle name (also Elizabeth!) and totally dropped my maiden name. I always thought I would make my maiden name my middle name, but when it came time to do it, it just didn't feel right! It is definitely such a personal decision.

PS: I love your sweater in the post, where is it from?

Sara Clevinger said...

I’m so glad you made this post! I was wondering what you were going to to about your last name/ monogram. I’m not engaged at the moment but I think about my last name/monogram changing when I get married because I’m quite attached to it. Congratulations!

P.S. you and I have the same monogram: sCe

Sara Clevinger said...

I’m so glad you made this post! I was wondering what you were going to to about your last name/ monogram. I’m not engaged at the moment but I think about my last name/monogram changing when I get married because I’m quite attached to it. Congratulations!

P.S. you and I have the same monogram: sCe

Kelly said...

Soooooo funny -- I laughed when I read about your potential ultra-traditional married monogram. I have always heard contradicting info about monograms when it comes to tradition. When we got married in 2012, I had some towels monogrammed with aDk because I just liked that better than kDa (my name first), but kept hearing that the "more proper" version was female's name first. Then I had some paper goods consultations for clients as a wedding planner with some ultra-traditional stationers and they said there's no such thing as a "married monogram", that only the female's monogram should ever be used and never combined with the male's initials. I'm with you -- whatever you like, goes! I love the look of monograms on many things, and I like the idea of some of the things in our home having both our initials on them. C'est la vie! I took my husband's last name happily and kept my maiden as my middle name. Love the look of your new towels!!! I've heard a lot about Weezie -- would love to try them sometime! (All our wedding gift towels are now 7 years old and feeling rough. How long do normal people wait to replace towels? I would love to get better quality towels the next go around so maybe they'll last longer / stay softer longer.)

Sarah said...

I took my husband's last name! I like the idea of our children having the same last name as both of us. Also, I don't have sisters, but I gained four by marrying my husband (he has two sisters, two SIL), and I love that we're the F_____ Sisters :)

We didn't really get any wedding gifts until our actual wedding, so we didn't have to deal with the decision to use or not to use gifts before the wedding.

Sweet Spontaneity

Natalie said...

I took my husband's last name and made my maiden name my middle name. I put our couple's monogram on our bedding because I like the look of it better - it just looks a little nicer in a monogram. I know that's not "traditional" but I agree that how it looks can definitely factor into the decision these days ;). We also got some stationery before our wedding with our couple's monogram, but my maiden last time and married last time start with the same initial so I felt like using it beforehand for early thank you notes still incorporated my current-at-the-time and future names. I have heard that couple's monograms are not really a "thing" but my husband and I felt weird about only using my monogram and thought first names looked a little too casual for the stationery we were ordering. Once we decided on invitations we did order matching thank you notes with our first names which I definitely felt a better about using before we were officially married even though I am not superstitious! We did not do a wedding monogram either - our country club where we were married is really special to us so I opted to use the country-club logo for cocktail napkins and then plain cloth napkins for dinner. We had some watercolor florals that were a quasi-"logo" that we printed on things for continuity. Now that I am married I have a few new things with my married monogram - a beach bag, phone case, etc. but also use my things with my maiden monogram that are still in good shape! I'll probably continue to use both! Love the towels and I agree, you can definitely put them to use in the new house before you are married.

Anonymous said...

Omg, you made me laugh so hard about the traditional, you cannot have that!🤣

Unknown said...

My husband and I are BOTH changing our last names to a new last name we picked together! We are both moving our current last names to our middle names. It's fun going through the paperwork together and creating our new family!

Tory said...

I did not change my name when I got married. I love my husband and I love that I get to spend the rest of my life with him, but I don’t think I needed to change my name in order to do that. I love that we live in a time where women have a choice! I think we all need to do what feels right for ourselves. My best friend is fairly traditional compared to me (SAHM, changed her last name, etc.) and we both accept and respect each other’s decisions. Basically, do you, girl! Plus, my last name is awesome and his is ugly (😂). My last name is Patrick and his is Pounch (pronounced punch) so everyone says it wrong. I love that you’re sharing your wedding planning with us. Keep it coming!

Caroline said...

Like Ashley, I kept all of my names and added his last name, but use first, maiden and his for monograms -- I was a Lee and waited most of my life to get a more interesting last name and ended up as a Smith! I honestly didn't have a huge opinion on changing but the S is a prettier center monogram letter than an L and using both names (no hyphen) in my work made me way easier to google than Lee or Smith alone. I didn't know there was a 'traditional' couple's monogram - I thought that was a new thing altogether! I'm also pretty traditional and so I did my monogram on a pitcher and some bedding and his on the barware. For our sheets, we each use 2 pillows so when I got the sets of pillowcases I got them monogrammed separately, so we each have our own on our pillows - good because they get mixed up if he sleeps in and I need mine back!

Kayla said...

I had the intentions to be Kayla Scanlan Pelletier but I did not make that known to my husband and so he filled out my immigration papers Kayla Michelle Pelletier- be prepared to start updating things the way you want and make that known to your partner before he starts adding you to his accounts, insurance, etc.

Unknown said...

Love your sweater! Details?


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