A while ago, I took to Instagram stories to ask those of you who have already had a wedding two questions:
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently about your wedding day?
What is ONE thing that you were so glad you did that you recommend to other brides?
I personally think it is so fun to hear from past brides and learn from them because there is often a lot you don't think about unless you have already gone through it yourself!
So, today I'm sharing the responses I got for the first question. I got SO many responses so I'm paraphrasing and not sharing names to keep everyone's privacy!
Today I'll share some responses to the first question and then I'll do a post next week that is part II that will share the responses to the second question.
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently about your wedding day?
- The #1 most popular response to this was that they regretted not hiring a videographer- there was an overwhelming number of people who said this. I have to admit, I was not going to do a videographer at first, but then we ended up hiring one, so I am very glad we did after hearing this!
- Another popular response was to have fewer people at your wedding. Some people said they don't keep in touch with some of the people they invited to their wedding and they wished it was more intimate so they would have been able to spend more time with everyone and wouldn't have to spend their entire night greeting every guest.
- Slow down. Pay more attention to the details and take it all in. Many of you said there is so much going on and you never got a chance to eat your meal or really look at the flowers or hear the cocktail hour band that you hired. Those of you who had said this said to really take a few moments throughout the night to just stop and look around.
- Not stress about what everyone else wants/expect. I liked this one- your wedding is YOUR wedding for a reason. I think so often people plan their weddings to impress others or please certain people and while it's somewhat understandable, you want to have a special night with your new husband that you truly want for yourselves!
- A lot of people talked about their photographers and how they didn't like the end results...they should have hired more shooters, etc. So many people also said that they wished that they had a shot list for their photographer. I was actually shocked by how many people said something along those lines. I had a handful of people say that they didn't get photos with VIPs like their moms, etc.
I think it comes from my event planning AND content creation background but I HIGHLY recommend creating a shot list and meeting with your photographers to discuss it. I went as far as creating locations around the city/church/etc. of where we can take photos and a backup plan should it rain. I also created a slide deck of the VIP people so the photographers/videographers would be able to review it and recognize them at the wedding... so when my Grammie is walking around, they'll be more likely to snap her photo because they recognize she is a VIP! You can never be overprepared and the only way to get exactly what you want is to ask for exactly what you want! This sentiment is not only for photographers but for anything in life and especially when it comes to any vendors you are working with for your wedding.
As a side note for this- many people mentioned that they wish that they had someone be the point-of-contact for the day-of other than themselves. Whether that be a day-of/month-of planner or a bridesmaid or whoever. A lot of you were saying that your photographers/ DJ/ etc. kept bugging you (Which I think is unprofessional! On your wedding day, you are not supposed to notice staff- anyone you hire should blend completely into the background!). But, I think choosing a point-of-contact that is not the bride or groom (if you aren't using a planner) is a perfect idea. I also think that by being overprepared and providing everything to your vendors beforehand (in writing so that they can reference it), you're much less likely to have to deal with anything on your actual wedding day. I created a vendor contact list with every vendor and their contact as well as a master schedule. I will then e-mail it to everyone and also print out a TON of copies so every single staff member/vendor has access to that information. You can also hop on a call and review the schedule with your vendor so if they have any questions, they get them out of the way beforehand, and it ensures that they cover the materials that you had sent to them. Maybe this sounds like 'too much' to you, but when it comes to events of any kind, you can never be too prepared.
- I was surprised that more people didn't say this but still, I got a lot of 'wish we spent less money'. Weddings are outrageously expensive. Even a 'cheap' wedding is expensive. According to Brides.com, in 2017, the average cost of a wedding was $27,000 and in 2018, it skyrocketed to $44,000. This is an entry level salary in Pittsburgh! You could buy a nice car, put a down payment on a house, save for your future children's college educations, etc.
I have a lot of theories on why this is but two stick out most to me: people want to share the photos on social media and impress others- I get being judgy (slightly- we are all humans), but when it comes to weddings, the things I have heard people judge are crazy...and mean. It's a nice reminder to step back and remember that the food, flowers, cake, etc. do not mean a thing- you are there to celebrate love and a joining of two lives forever... if it is not what you like or not what you would do, that's fine, you will have/have had your own day to do what you want and your own money to spend how you like!
My second thought is that vendors are becoming out of control and getting away with charging crazy prices. Whenever you put the word 'wedding' in front of it, they can charge double, triple, etc. what they would normally charge.
- In contrast, a bunch of you said you wish you had spent more money! I was so not expecting that at all! Some people said they wish they hired hair and makeup, some people said they wish they would have had more flowers, some people said they wish they would have splurged on a better DJ, etc.
- Don't sweat the small stuff. No one remembers them anyway. I loved this one because do you remember what color the napkins were at the last wedding you attended?! I certainly don't!
2 comments:
I 100% wished I hired a videographer. So much of the wedding becomes a blur so fast, and you are so busy even after the wedding that it's hard to re-capture those moments in your brain. I was lucky that a few guests took great videos for me, so I do have that luckily! My photographer was great about actually quizzing me in detail on what I wanted as far as a shot list goes and she did a great job. I like the idea of a slide deck so the photographers can get acquainted with people and having some general ideas of where to get photos taken, but I also learned through the wedding process to let go a bit and let the professionals do their thing. I let my photographer be more in control at the end of the day because I wanted her to feel open to be her creative self, find the best lighting, etc., and not just trying to mark off a list for me. So, I do think there is a balance to be had. I also agree with having less people. We only had 100 and it felt perfect. I felt I got to touch base with everyone while still having fun and it would have been harder with a lot more people (but to each, their own!) I kept a strict budget but the only thing I wished I still spent less on was paper products -- the costs are simply outrageous for what they are. Your wedding is going to be sooo beautiful, I can't wait to hear and see more!
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