I've been on social media since its inception. As a blogger that began in 2009 when there was no Instagram, TikTok, etc. the world was so different back then. As blogging became an industry over the years and new social media channels popped up, I became an early adopter.
Remember back in 2012ish when it was popular to post your latte or a bouquet of flowers? Then, it was popular to post mirror selfie shots of your outfit, then professional photo outfit shots... basically, the things people posted and the style of the posts have changed over the years. And then Snapchat came with that adorable dog filter, and then Instagram stories popped up, and now we have reels and TikTok. This job and the social media landscape are constantly changing and at a fast pace, no doubt. Sometimes I wonder whether it is for better or worse but that's another topic for another day.
Anyway, I was thinking about the way I present myself online and then how others, whom I follow, present themselves on their social media channels. My thoughts are always changing and evolving on this topic as it's something I think about a lot.
If you were coming over to my house today for lunch or dinner or just to get together, when you would come to my home, you would find it to be clean and tidy. I would likely be dressed in at least a somewhat polished outfit and it's likely that I would have a little bit of makeup on. When we would chat, I would chat with you openly.
I personally think of social media as having people 'over' in the sense that I present myself as if you were here in person visiting as a friend (but also with a level of caution because you know... safety and privacy). What I look like, what we chat about, what my home looks like, etc. For years, I have gotten messages asking if my home is ever a mess, if I am ever not dressed, or if I wear makeup every day.
The answer to that is that I don't wear makeup daily and I actually go out in public without makeup quite a bit (and often am on Instastories with no makeup). I never use filters when talking about makeup or skincare! I like my skin and take good care of it and have no problem going bare-faced in public. I'm pretty tidy and love to clean so I would say my house is in pretty good shape day-to-day but if I was having anyone over, even a maintenance person, it would be pretty darn clean. I actually had a cleaning service pre-pandemic and I was that person that would clean before they got here. I exercise a decent amount so I'm often in workout clothes but try to get dressed as much as possible otherwise as that is when I feel best about myself.
I don't typically share my home when it is a mess and I don't really share myself when I am not feeling like I look (at minimum) OK. Some people refer to the 'house a mess', sweatpants, etc. as 'real life' when it comes to the internet. It certainly is and sometimes exactly what my life looks like.
I just don't know how I personally feel about showing that online. When you have an audience on social media, I think my biggest tip would be to 'draw the line', wherever that line may be for you, and then stick to it. The older I get, the more strongly I believe in this. I find that helps to keep me sane, protect myself and my family (both in terms of mental health and privacy/safety), and guides me along in terms of what I share and what my audience can expect from me.
I think about this kind of thing a lot. Even just in terms of the type of photos that I share. I have a 'nice' camera and an iPhone and I really try to vary the images that I share. On one hand, I love photography and so photographing something with my Nikon brings me joy. I think it also provides a level of professionalism for brands and campaigns and looks best on my website. But I also think there is value in a quick iPhone snap. I think it feels rawer, less staged, more 'in the moment' and that's because that is exactly what it is! I think a balance is always good but hard to strike. I think about this a lot more than you might think!
I also try to look at it from a user perspective. I personally love looking at gorgeous, well-shot images but also love the iPhone snaps just as much!
I actually just thought about this the other day as I was packing for our trip. I started pulling clothes to pack and I tried to keep it contained to the guest bedroom but it became an absolute mess with clothing, shoes, and bags all over the place! On the bed, on the floor- literally everywhere. While there was a method to my madness, it was a MESS... and that mess drove me nuts, ha!!
And you know what? I didn't share that mess on social media. Not because I want to deceive my audience into thinking that my house is pristinely perfect at all times. No. Because I'm literally telling you about it right now. But this is because I don't have my friends or family over to my home like that and so I don't invite you all into my home when it is like that.
The same thing goes for paying attention to the way I look before I hop on social media. If I'm looking really rough, I don't really show myself. Because in the same vein as my home, if I was on a stage with 60,000++ people in the seats, I would want to feel like I look at least OK.
I'm wondering what you all think about this type of thing, especially if you are not working in the social media world and mostly just consuming content rather than creating it.
For myself and my content, I think it's important to have a good level of candor but I also value a level of privacy.
I think it's interesting to hear other points of view. There is no right or wrong way either. I enjoy following people that I would consider 'oversharers' and I love following accounts that share only beautiful, curated images. I love to watch dog videos on TikTok, ha!! I actually also love to follow accounts that I cannot relate to as I personally think it's those types of accounts that broaden my horizons. The best thing about social media and consuming content is that there really is something for everyone out there and if you don't like something, you don't have to consume it!
13 comments:
This might be one of my favorite posts of yours ever! I enjoyed this so much. It is crazy how social media continues to evolve. I would say overall I have a similar approach to what types of things I share on IG Stories as you. Love the analogy about inviting someone into your home- that seriously makes so much sense! :)
xoxo A
www.southernbelleintraining.com
Bravo!
I agree with you that there is no wrong way. Some people are like you, some people are the other way. I like both. You be you - showcasing the meat and presentable side for company.
You are one of the first blogs I've followed and I'm actually closer to your Mom's age (love when you share content about her) and I appreciate that you keep it professional. Everyone has a bad day, but you keep it off social media. The other thing I've noticed is that you are kind to your followers. (not everyone is)
This was an excellent post!
I completely agree! As a fellow blogger, it’s like showing up for work. I would never walk into my corporate office as a mess. Sometimes I show the mess in the middle of the project; but that’s usually part of the project and necessary to be seen to better understand the scope.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sydney!
I appreciate this post! I started following your blog years ago. I think you should do what makes you comfortable and/or your sponsors respond to. I must also say that while you are very pretty, you also look "normal" and by that, it does not appear that you have "Kardashian-ized" your face with either filters or procedures. That is unwatchable to me and is, I believe, unhealthy to both yourself and your followers. As far as showing the mess, I think that would have been appropriate if you were doing a packing post and showing the process through which you decide what to pack but I don't see any purpose in showing a basket of laundry or dirty dishes in the sink. As you said, this is basically your workspace. In a nutshell, I think you are doing great! Keep it up!
I honestly cringe out how we're now being pressured to show the 'real you.' Honestly, my real me is put together and polished most days, as that is how I feel when I'm my best, and why would I give myself or anyone else less than my best? Your blog is still my favorite because of the top notch professionalism, but the utmost kindest you show to everyone. Loved reading your thoughts on this!
I love what Kelly says. My “real life” is put together and tidy and I take pride in my home, myself, and how I look. Even with 2 young children, these things are important to me. (I’ve also struggled with confidence and depression in the past and let me tell you, getting dressed consistently and keeping my home tidy is the quickest way to improve my mood and attitude and prevent deep slumps.)
But I really don't appreciate the accounts that get on stories first thing in the morning while they’re still LAYING IN THEIR BED. They haven’t even brushed their teeth, yet. (Or worse, they story BRUSHING THEIR TEETH.) Like. WHAT IN THE WORLD?? Is nothing sacred anymore?? Why is this considered “content”? Why are brands partnering with ppl who don’t have more respect for their audience than that? (It honestly comes across as rude and disrespectful to me. 😬🙈) People need to stop rewarding this kind of behavior with views and partnerships. 🤣🙈
All that to be said, I appreciate the effort you put into your lifestyle and content and love coming to your page! ❤️
Thanks for this thoughtful post. It's really interesting to hear what you think of this topic from a blogger perspective. I am someone who has no Instagram presence at all, but I do have an account that I log into to follow a handful (~100 accounts) that I find helpful and inspiring. My view on the "how you present yourself" online has evolved and I think is nuanced. Personally, the differentiator for whether I enjoy following a fashion / lifestyle creator is whether I can relate to them. To me, this does not mean how much "disarray" they show in their homes - it is more whether I somewhat relate to their lifestyle choices and purchase habits. A key of example of this would be: is this person the type of person that likes to invest in quality pieces that they will wear for a long time, or are they someone who feels they always need to have the very expensive dress of the moment, knowing they will only wear it once before it's obsolete? Does the person seem to know and feel confident in their style and choices, or are they simply a reflection of the current trends? As for the oversharers, I will at times tend to unfollow. Sharing difficult things and emotion can certainly be okay, but to me oversharing is more about the volume of content. I think balance is important in life so I would much rather follow someone who is more sparing with their content and models that social media / real world balance.
I feel okay about people presenting their best selves online because it is pretty clear that it is their best self, and it's also okay to want to be your best self! I liken it to how I recently went through some changes where I've begun waking up early to exercise, eating better, keeping things tidier. It's okay (and good!) if bloggers are in the same zone. It's in part up to the reader to know if they are in a place to consume content that is more polished / curated, or not.
All that to say, I think you strike a really wonderful balance!
Thanks for this thoughtful post. It's really interesting to hear what you think of this topic from a blogger perspective. I am someone who has no Instagram presence at all, but I do have an account that I log into to follow a handful (~100 accounts) that I find helpful and inspiring. My view on the "how you present yourself" online has evolved and I think is nuanced. Personally, the differentiator for whether I enjoy following a fashion / lifestyle creator is whether I can relate to them. To me, this does not mean how much "disarray" they show in their homes - it is more whether I somewhat relate to their lifestyle choices and purchase habits. A key of example of this would be: is this person the type of person that likes to invest in quality pieces that they will wear for a long time, or are they someone who feels they always need to have the very expensive dress of the moment, knowing they will only wear it once before it's obsolete? Does the person seem to know and feel confident in their style and choices, or are they simply a reflection of the current trends? As for the oversharers, I will at times tend to unfollow. Sharing difficult things and emotion can certainly be okay, but to me oversharing is more about the volume of content. I think balance is important in life so I would much rather follow someone who is more sparing with their content and models that social media / real world balance.
I feel okay about people presenting their best selves online because it is pretty clear that it is their best self, and it's also okay to want to be your best self! I liken it to how I recently went through some changes where I've begun waking up early to exercise, eating better, keeping things tidier. It's okay (and good!) if bloggers are in the same zone. It's in part up to the reader to know if they are in a place to consume content that is more polished / curated, or not.
All that to say, I think you strike a really wonderful balance!
I'm totally with you. I honestly feel like it's in the same vein as etiquette -- some things feel inappropriate or just less tasteful to share. And plenty of people disagree, but that's certainly not your brand! I would be shocked (and genuinely concerned about you, haha) if you suddenly started posting things while looking disheveled, surrounded by a noticeably huge mess. That's not to say your audience thinks you need to look perfect by any means (!!!) but that's just not the precedent you set and it would seem really out of character, to the extent that something would seem alarmingly wrong. And obviously expectations change based on circumstances... if you were posting as the brand-new mom of a newborn baby (or moving, or undergoing some other time-intensive, energy-intensive situation), I would expect that you would either scale back on frequency of posts so that you could keep up your consistent image OR it would be less shocking/surprising to see less "curated" imagery (more lounge clothes, less shown of your home at that point of time, etc).
I liken it to real life relationships. We all have "that friend" who prefers to be overdressed, always looks cute, and tends to be #goals in most areas. You're just that girl online! And that's why people flock to read your content -- you serve as inspiration on a daily basis, you're still absolutely relatable and real, but you also naturally send off these "level up" vibes -- in a good way. (I think back to high school when one of my new best friends used to always dress business casual to school. I had never really considered doing that before, but she was so cute, it rubbed off on me and then I started dressing "better"/more professionally. Elevation by peer pressure! Ha!)
Enjoyed this thoughtful post. I like the way you present yourself online and totally agree with you that you should draw the line regarding privacy wherever is comfortable for you - you don't "owe" your readers anything more. I enjoy following you because I like your fashion and decorating sense, your devotion to family, and your professionalism. I'm amazed that you put out six blog posts every week (in addition to Instagram stuff), even while on vacation or when you were preparing for your wedding! I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem for any of your followers if you miss a few days when on your upcoming vacation - hope you and your husband have a wonderful time!!
I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I love it when I get to chat with family that I don't live close to and see their fun photo happenings. That being said, I don't like it when it is used for political and religious rantings and...this is petty, but I don't like it when gals from my friend group get together for an evening/event that I was not invited to. Not only do I get to see the photos, but I get to read about what a fun time they had where I was not invited. I know, I know...it's petty and no, I don't need to be invited to everything every single time, but it still stings a bit.
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