Phone + Social Media Culture

I walk into Whole Foods with a list in the notes on my phone. I grab a cart, and as I'm walking in, I realize I should text my husband to see if he needs/wants anything in particular from the store. I see that they have my favorite hydrangeas and grab a bundle. I toss some beautiful-looking tomatoes in the cart and then look down at my phone again to see what's next on the list. I check the grocery list, and I see an 'important' email pop up. I pull my cart over to read it for a second and realize a response can wait until I return to the car. I toss in some lettuce, some watermelon, and bananas. As I'm grabbing some milk, I receive a text from my girlfriend asking if we have plans for this coming weekend and if we want to get together. I wait to respond and ask my husband to ensure he didn't make a tee time or something like that. He finally responds, letting me know he'd like tortilla chips and that there's an early tee time this weekend that won't interfere with making other plans. I see a condiment on the shelf that my sister has been raving about, and I toss it into the cart. I get in line to check out. I am wondering how to use this condiment, so I text my sister to ask how she uses it. I text my girlfriend back, letting her know we are free this weekend. I get to the register and check out. The gentleman at the register is the first person since I've walked into the grocery store in which I've made contact. I never use my phone at checkout. I leave the store, put the groceries in my cart, and get in my car. I respond to that email and pick a playlist on Spotify for the drive home. I open the Starbucks app and place a mobile order to pick up on the way home. I rarely get Starbucks, but I needed a caffeine boost today. I run into Starbucks, grab my drink and give a quick wave of thanks to the barista. Once home, I unload the groceries and see that my sister finally responded about how she uses the new condiment I just got. I google the condiment to see how others use it. I take a photo of some of my Whole Foods finds to share on Instagram. 

This all sounds like a very normal run of errands, right? Just some grocery shopping. But it's actually riddled with me being on my phone and constantly being interrupted by my phone. There's nothing wrong with that, but then again, is there something wrong with that?

OOTD pic September 2009 with my Envy 2 phone (I still have that shirt and those shorts!!!)

I've been thinking about phone usage frequently and for many years as someone that works from home and also makes an income by grabbing people's attention on the internet. I started this business so long ago that I had a Verizon Envy 2 phone. Do you all remember that phone? It had a number pad on the front and the tiniest screen. It flipped open to reveal a full horizontal keyboard and a larger screen. That was 'back in the day' when it cost a small fortune to access the internet via my phone. There were absolutely no social media apps on that phone. 

I started my blog back then, a time when you read blogs in one sitting on your laptop when you had a bit of downtime. To write my blog posts, I had to physically plug my computer into my school's internet. I can't quite remember, but I don't think I carried my laptop with me until around junior year. 

A photo of my first iPhone that I took with my digital camera. 

As time passed and I continued with my blog, social media became more mainstream. I remember using Twitter on my laptop and not on my phone at first. Then I got a Blackberry. BBM was all the rage. I was still taking a digital camera out and about with me and uploading Facebook albums of those photos the next day. In my senior year, I finally got an iPhone, and shortly after that, I downloaded Instagram.  

I share this all with you to jog your memory because I know all of you likely followed similar phone/social media paths (if you are around my age). It also illustrates just how far we have come in just the last 10 years regarding technology. If you are around my age, you can remember a time without social media or even WiFi. I remember my parents would get so mad when I would take over the phone line because I was chatting with my friends on AIM. Very much unlike today's kids, where it's all they know. I didn't have an iPhone until I was 21 and didn't have an iPad until 22. 

I started this website when I was 19. This is my 14th year of doing this. I'm so much older and have lived so much life since then. I don't necessarily think I'm a completely different person than I was at 19, but at the same time, I really am. 

Now, onto the present day. A few months ago, I was having a particularly bad day. When I get into a bad mood or am having a bad day, I will often drop everything and go out for a quick walk to clear my head. It really works and can totally change my tune. I was walking past a vet's office, and a woman was walking out with her dog. She stopped me to ask about Henry, and we chatted for quite a while. The conversation was not particularly remarkable, but I remember her as a warm, lovely human being. I was so thankful to have spoken with her, as her cheery demeanor helped to brighten my day. As innocuous as the conversation was, I am sure she did not think she had made such a profound difference in my day. I had left my phone at home on that walk and did not bring my earbuds.

I saw this video snippet on Instagram (the irony, ha). He took exactly what I had been thinking for so long and turned it into words. It was also interesting to read the comments. I always hesitate to read comments on social media posts because oftentimes, they can be crass and even hateful. But most of the comments that I read were thoughtful and presented things from all different perspectives that really made me think. One comment, in particular, said something like, '15 years ago, it was still the same as it is now- people just had newspapers, books, laptops, etc. People just romanticize the past.' I really reflected on that comment. Is that the case? I think, in part, yes, but I also believe it's very different now! 

That same week, I was on Facebook posting a new blog post link to my Summer Wind page (again, the irony), and I saw a sponsored post from the NYTimes pop up in my feed with an article titled 'They May Be Just Acquaintances. They're Important to you Anyway.' I clicked through. I thought it might be behind a paywall, but it opened for me, and I could read it. The article talks of 'weak ties,' aka people that are not your close friends/family. They could be strangers that you just strike up a conversation with one time, and how those interactions are psychologically important. The article talks about how the more weak ties you have in your day, the more likely it is that you will be happier. The article centers around the elderly, but it definitely applies to everyone. Really, when you read about it and reflect on it, it seems like common sense. 

The video and article went hand-in-hand perfectly and propelled me to share my thoughts. Man, those algorithms are good. 

I worked in marketing in the steel tower years ago, which is the largest building in downtown Pittsburgh and the 5th tallest building in Pennsylvania. In the lobby of the building was a Starbucks. It was before mobile ordering became commonplace. I used to get a coffee literally every single day there, and the baristas were great. After a few weeks of working there, they always remembered my order and name. It was a true talent because thousands of people work in that building. My interactions with the baristas were always kind but, for the most part, quick and mundane. I never really thought about those interactions until I started thinking about phones and how, in so many ways, much of the automation has made life much easier and more efficient but has also removed many situations where one might create weak ties. 

Honestly, I think this is such a huge reason why I love my Orange Theory classes so much. You are not allowed to have your phone, and everyone follows that rule. As we wait for class to start, we talk to our neighbors. Literally, no one is on their phone. I have gotten to know so many people! If we had been allowed our phones, I believe many of these connections may not have taken place, and there would be less of a sense of community. 

Because of my job as a content creator, I've been pretty conscious of not being on my phone when my husband is home from work or when I'm hanging out with family or friends. I try to be present and in the moment with the people I know and love. 

But I haven't been as conscious about it when I am out and about by myself. 

The more that I think about this, too, the more I think that being glued to our phones when out in public and alone could be a safety issue. I'm likely less aware of my surroundings than I was when we didn't have so much going on with our phones. Unfortunately, I think nefarious characters take advantage of this- you hear about it all too often. 

Speaking of that article and video, when we were on Nantucket recently, we went to Cisco Brewery. If you've never been, it's a lively spot with a distillery, brewery, and winery all in one. There is an outdoor courtyard, and they often have live music. It can get crowded with people all having a great time. We sat at a long picnic table, and a couple sat beside us. We started chatting with them, and it turns out they were from an area of Boston where one of my friends is from. Not only that, but they were originally from Turkey in the exact same city that my aunt is from. We talked to them about my aunt's cooking and how much I love her kofta, and we just ended up having so much in common with them. They were the most lovely human beings, and we all took a photo together (which I won't share to protect their privacy/anonymity). None of us touched our phones that entire afternoon except to show a photo or two of what we were discussing! 

I think I've paid closer attention to the entire social media and phone/technology industry as a whole and likely spend more time on my phone than someone with an entirely different career, like an engineer, teacher, or plumber. 

But at the same time (gosh, this topic is SO nuanced), I make so many connections with people over social media every single day. It's a wonderful part of why I love my job so much. It's truly fulfilling to chat with you all over DM, emails, comments, etc. 

I think about younger generations and how I perceive them to be on their phone more than myself, and I think about how that must shape their lives.

Maybe I am romanticizing 15 years ago, but I really do think there was more opportunity and openness from others for those in-person weak ties 'back then.' 

But on the other hand, I also see memes all over the internet poking fun at how people don't want to converse with others while out and about. I definitely get that. There are times when I definitely just want to be left to myself, or I am in a rush and need to get things done at a fast pace. I also realize that social anxiety is a very real thing and may prohibit people from creating and/or desiring those weak ties.

I also notice that when I am out and about, the weak ties that I encounter usually come from people who I perceive to be older than me- most around my parents' age, who are not as glued to their phones as younger generations. That's definitely a generalization, though, and that could be a local thing because the age of Pittsburghers skews older. I also tend to run my errands during the daytime when many people closer to my age cannot, so I am hypothesizing that I am more likely to encounter people older than myself.

There's really no point to this post (which is kind of all over the place), other than to chat with you all and see what you think about phone culture, automation, and weak ties? I enjoy having these types of open discussions with you all and hearing your points of view, as we have such a broad audience of people from all over the country and even the world, and I do think this topic is of importance! 

Personally, since I read that article and watched that video clip, I have been making a more conscious effort to look down at my phone less when I'm doing mundane errands or even just on my daily walk when by myself. Not only do I think I've created more weak ties because of this, but I also truly believe I am safer because I am more aware of my surroundings!