Something I Learned From My Parents: On Being A Good Friend

There is a children's song that goes a little something like... 

'Make new friends,

but keep the old.

One is silver,

the other is gold.

A circle is round,

it has no end.

That's how long,

I will be your friend.'

Just as children learn to make friends in their early years, friendships could not be more important as you get older, especially as you move into adulthood. It's a bit harder to make new friends once you graduate from college and no longer have sports, sororities, or activities, not to mention people moving around the country and even the globe. We all are busy with work and family and the upkeep of a home, aging parents, etc. 

I also think some friendships are born out of a time and place in your life, and they don't carry as strongly onto another phase, and that's perfectly OK. Some friendships blossom out of convenience. Some friendships can be ended/fade away, and while that can always be a tough situation, I think, in hindsight, it is often for the best. 

I believe in 'the more the merrier,' but I also believe in quality over quantity. I think both can coexist when it comes to friendships. 

There are a myriad of friendships- friends from work, family friends, college, high school, summer camps, sports, childhood, sorority/fraternity, neighbors, etc. There are also different 'levels' of friendship, but I'm more focused on the kind of friend that is truly deep down in their soul rooting for you and loves you. Not friends who may be more acquaintances or friends who may be prone to drama, gossip, jealousy, competition, social climbing, etc. 

You are certainly lucky if you have even just one true friend, and it is an honor to have someone describe you as a true, good friend. Those are hard to come by, and I think they are worth cherishing. 

At the end of the day, friendship is important and vital to a life well-lived. You don't have to take my word for it. If you read some scientific studies about friendship, most will say that friendship benefits health, happiness, wellness, success, and more. 

My parents just had their 39th wedding anniversary this month. While I am so thankful to have a front-row seat to their loving marriage, I was reminded of something else as we attended the wedding of some family friends a few weekends ago, where I was honored to be a bridesmaid. Our dads went to high school together. My dad has a group of friends from high school, all of whom still keep in touch, get together, vacation together, and more. I would share a photo of this big group, but I believe everyone has a right to their privacy, so a photo of my family will have to do from this past weekend! 

These friends are there to celebrate and to mourn and everything in between.

My grammie tells stories of them from 'back in the day,' and the group of now well over 20 people often refer to her as Grammie. As my parent's daughter, it's funny to think that my dad knew these guys before he knew my mom! It's hard to conceptualize 30+ years from now regarding my own life!

When my parents had children, they continued to get together, and all the kids became friends. Because it got confusing how to tell my school friends who these other friends were, I would often just call them my cousins. My memories of hanging out with 'the kids' are strong. We swam on our country club's swim team together, we had 4th of July firework nights together, we went on vacations together, celebrated Christmas Eve together; and the list goes on. 

A few weeks ago, when I went whitewater rafting, it was for another 'cousin' and her bachelorette. She had a photo of our parents together doing the same rafting trip probably 35 years before us. 

We have another wedding at the end of October for another 'cousin' and another one in early 2024. There are many wonderful reasons to get together and celebrate, but these occasions remind me of how everything came to be...by our parents setting an example of being good friends. I'm proud to have parents who are good friends to others and fortunate that they are surrounded by wonderful people who I know are also good to them and, in turn, to me. 

Now that I am older, I feel lucky to have friends I have known since I was young, along with these 'cousins' that I have also grown with. It's a hodgepodge of people throughout my life, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I think one of my biggest hopes/ life goals is to be as good a friend to them as I have watched my parents be to others and their friends be to them. 

Like all relationships, friendship often takes work and is built on trust and vulnerability. I think it makes things harder when geography is not on your side. But in the end, it's always worth the effort. 

So today's moral of the story is to let your friends know that you are thankful for them, and if you haven't talked to some of your friends in a minute, it's never too late to reach out and catch up or get together. Moreover, if you want to make friends, let your circle know! Everyone needs a true, good friend, and I hope this post makes you think of someone special!