Handling Disappointment

The inside of my suitcase because it's the only photo I have, ha!

This past weekend, I was supposed to have gone to Amelia Island, Florida with my friend Abby. We were meeting in Florida to shoot Abby's upcoming collaboration with accessories brand, Lisi Lerch. I was so honored and flattered that Abby and Lisi Lerch had thought to include me! 

So Friday morning rolls around, I pack up my suitcase, say goodbye to Henry, and my mom came over to drive me to the airport. I am not one to get to the airport super early, but, it is spring break time so I decided I should probably get there two full hours before my flight. My flight was at 1:30pm and so I got there around 11:15am. Security was shockingly almost empty. I breezed right through, took the tram, and start walking to a screen so I can figure out what gate I am going to. I looked at the board and I did not see my flight at all. So odd. I walked around trying to find an information desk. I couldn't find one so I walked back to the screen thinking maybe I wasn't looking close enough. All of the sudden, my flight pops up! In red, it says 'canceled'. WHAT! 

I was slightly panicked. I headed over to a gate agent for help. My flight was actually a layover. I was flying from Pittsburgh to Atlanta and then Atlanta to Jacksonville (Amelia Island is about 45 mins from Jacksonville). There were no direct flights from Pittsburgh to Jacksonville. Honestly, Pittsburgh airport is super frustrating. It's not a hub and while they call it an 'international airport', 75% of the time, I find myself unable to get a non-stop flight to anywhere. 

The gate agent looks at me like there is no hope. She tells me there is another flight to Atlanta at 4:30pm but it's completely full so I can wait on standby to see if someone doesn't show up. I've flown a ton in my life but have never had to fly standby, so I didn't totally understand how it works but I said OK sure. 

My perch in the airport lounge

So I wait at the airport for several hours. I look on the Delta app and see that I'm #4 on the standby list and it says '17 seats available'. I'm thinking to myself, oh this is great, I will for sure get on this flight!!! So I head over to my gate with plenty of time before they start boarding. I was feeling pretty confident. I even texted Abby 'I really think I'll be able to get on this flight'. Famous last words. I ask the gate agent what he thinks my chances of getting on the flight are. He then tells me that they oversold the flight by SEVEN people and that I was number 4 on the standby list so a whole lot of people would have to not show up for me to get on that airplane. I could almost feel myself deflate. 

For anyone that didn't know, like me, if you fly standby, you have to sit there and wait for every single person to board the plane, then they give a buffer period for any stragglers to get on. They page you if you then get a seat on the flight. Well, the door closes, and I hear them say 'all full' and there are still a bunch of us all sitting around having hoped to board that flight! 

So, there are were no more flights for me to get out of Pittsburgh that night. I was so frustrated! I had been texting Abby telling her all of the details of what was going on. 

The only way they were able to get me to the end airport of Jacksonville was through Dulles and then through Newark... which wouldn't get me there until Sunday!!! I was like ok hold on!!! Sunday is when my return flight is scheduled! It started to click, this trip is literally not going to happen! 

I have had a lot of travel stress and mishaps over the years, there are so many variables. But never in my life have I not been able to actually get to my destination within my trip timeframe! 

I was kind of shocked and also felt SO badly that I was not going to be able to be there with Abby. Very thankfully, Abby's mom was going, too, so it's not like I was leaving Abby off on her own. 

So then, my husband came and picked me up at the airport after I was there for about 6 hours and I came home and unpacked my suitcase. 

I shared this entire day as it progressed on my instastories and I had so many of you all say that you have had such issues with air travel lately and that I wasn't alone. Such a bummer when things don't work out, you know? 

Many of you sent me such sweet messages about how sorry you were that this happened and I really appreciate all of your kind words! Someone messaged me 'I'm so impressed by your attitude. Something like this would destroy me. I need to work on that but I don't know how'. I got many similar messages praising me for being so positive and handling everything with a good attitude. 

I first have to tell you that I am not always as calm, cool and collected as I appear on Instagram. I just don't personally turn to Instagram if I am angry or sad or upset. I don't 'air my dirty laundry' on Instagram. Nobody likes a whiner/complainer and I'm not going to bring that energy to my Instagram! 

However, I really do think us having to postpone our wedding when we were only a month away from our wedding day really changed me... positively and negatively. But one of those positive outcomes is that I have become a lot more flexible, and less heavily affected by certain things in life. In the words of Frozen, I have learned to 'Let It Goooooo'. 

I have always been very Type-A. At my very core, I am a planner, rigid, a bit high-strung, the list goes on. That's just me and who I am and have always been. When I take those Enneagram tests, I always get a 3 but the close second or 'wing' is a 1. Growing up my parents always had to work on getting me to be more flexible about everything in life.

As many of you know, our original wedding date was April 25, 2020. Funny enough, our 'would be' 2 year wedding anniversary would be coming in two weeks. At the end of March, just a month from our wedding day, we had to make the decision to postpone our wedding. 

Let me tell you, I was absolutely heartbroken. I was crushed, I was sad, angry, hurt. I was all of the negative descriptors you could think of. My dress had been altered, the invitations had been sent and we were receiving RSVP's. We had finished pre cana and pre-marital counseling and finalized our church programs. Our guests had their flights booked, their hotels booked, etc. We had paid a LOT of our vendors. We had an entire honeymoon booked and paid for already. When I tell you it was all such a living hell, it was. And, on top of that, the pandemic and all of the craziness that was happening all around us, it almost broke me!

Here's the thing. I could have let this entire situation absolutely eat me alive. I could have let it ruin me. For a few weeks, I definitely did. 

But here's what it taught me. There are SO many things in life that are entirely out of my control. No matter what I want to do, my thoughts, my behavior, and even my actions will make absolutely no difference in the outcome. In those situations, I need to let things go. I need to move on and focus on what I can control and that, my friends, is my attitude!! You know the saying 'sh*t happens'. While not an eloquent phrase, it sure does and it can be awful but no matter what, in life sh*t is still going to happen!

So, take this past weekend, for example, was I bummed? Absolutely! I wanted to go to Florida so badly. Could I have let it ruin my entire weekend? Absolutely. I could have been miserable, I could have made a scene at the airport by being rude to the gate attendant (I literally would never, but you catch my drift), I could have called my husband crying, I could have sat around and sulked all weekend. There are a million and one things I could have done. But you know what? I thought to myself 'this really stinks, but this is out of my control so I am going to CHOOSE to look for the positives. I am going to choose not to feel sorry for myself. I started thinking 'wow how lucky am I that I got stuck in Pittsburgh and did not get stuck in Atlanta'? How lucky am I that my mom was able to drive me to the airport and my husband was able to pick me up? My day at the airport wasn't a total waste, I found a lounge and sat on my computer working just like I do when I am at home! How lucky am I that I have a job that presented me with such a neat opportunity? How lucky am I that I have such an understanding friend in Abby? I thought about Henry and how glad he would be that I'd be home instead of gone all weekend. The list goes on. 

Then, this past weekend, I kept that up. We had a delicious takeout dinner on Friday night. I ended up tackling a project I'd been wanting to do but hadn't had the time to do. I also ended up switching over my closet from fall/winter to spring/summer, because why not! I had this unexpected time! While I would have rather been in Florida and cleaning out my closets was not exactly fun, I was happy to get these things done. 

To wrap things up, because this is getting very long, life is tough and filled with things completely out of our control. But, you can control your thoughts, your attitude, and your perspective. I am the only one responsible for my happiness and I take that seriously! I want to be happy, I want to be in a good mood, I want to enjoy life! So I do because I have chosen that. 

Even in the worst of times, there is still always going to be that silver lining, however small it may be. I've shared similar sentiments in posts before, but thinking about all of the things I am grateful for each day has made me a better person and in turn, has created a better life for myself. Changing your mindset and choosing to stay positive and count your blessings is not easy. It's way easier for me to type this out and tell you about it than to actually do it. But if you try really hard, it is wonderfully life-changing!