When I asked you all a few weeks ago about what content you wanted to see in March, I was surprised to see you all wanted more wedding content! I can't believe March 31st will mark 8 months married. It is still so crazy to me that our original wedding date (April 25th, 2020) anniversary would be coming up next month and we would have already been married for two years while we actually have yet to be married a year! It was such a long time coming and I am not kidding you when I say I feel so grateful for it every single day. But, I'd be lying, if April 25th doesn't bring a bittersweet feeling- but it is one we plan to also celebrate for the rest of our lives. Kind of like 2 anniversaries, ha!!
This is going to be a wordy post. I actually had this post almost entirely written back in late August. I just completely and totally forgot to post it. I think I may not have posted it originally because it was just so long. So I'm splitting this into several parts.
Basically, I was asked a ton of questions via email and DM about things and so this was me categorizing them and going over them. It was fun to read these back after having originally written this 7ish months ago!
Wedding Blues
Several of you asked me about this and I've also seen other brides talk about this. Wedding blues is supposedly the 'come down' after all things wedding-related have passed. I honestly can say I had zero wedding blues. None. I think the main root of this is because of our postponement. The waiting game of figuring out when or, if we were going to be able to have our wedding, the shifting of everything, keeping track of restrictions, etc. was just so incredibly stressful. We definitely tried to stay positive and we do realize how lucky we are in all facets of life, but at the same time, I am SO GLAD it has come and gone. It was everything we wanted and then some. Everything went off without a hitch, the weather was perfect, and it was truly the best day ever. Literally, not one thing went amiss. But I am just so glad that we are finally married and husband and wife. 'Normal' life has been wonderful.
Sending Out Invitations
Many asked about this since I briefly touched on it in a Q+A on Instagram. So our situation was somewhat unique since we should have sent our invitations out quite a bit earlier than we did. We held off because there were still restrictions in place leading up to our wedding that would have caused us to have to postpone again, so we waited until we got the all-clear to move forward. Had this not been our situation, I would have literally sent out our invitations 3 months in advance. The typical advice is to send invitations 6-8 weeks in advance, but truly, I would suggest sending them out a full 3 months ahead of time, especially if you have a lot of guests from out of town. I know that sounds a bit overzealous but the mail is slow and we experienced this first hand. I'm honestly not sure if the mail is still slow, but even so, I'd still do 2.5-3 months out just to be safe. We had the biggest issues with getting the RSVP's in a timely manner not because people sent them late but because they were stuck in the mail for so long. I think overall, my suggestion would be to be much more ahead of things than you would have prior to March 2020 when planning a wedding or event.
Especially now as you all know so many people are having their weddings in 2022 and 2023. I was iffy about a save-the-date and we sent one anyway. I still don't know if that was totally necessary but glad we did it. But now, in 2022, if you are newly engaged, I'd solidify your date and for sure send out that save the date as soon as you can.
Photos from Friends and Family
I am SO thankful for the friends and family that took so many photos on their phones. I didn't really want phones out during our ceremony, but honestly, I was so glad to see so many beautiful photos taken by friends and family as we didn't get our professional photos for a month. It was so fun to relive the night through others' perspectives even just the next day! I also love our professional photos but there is something more intimate and raw about the phone photos that really feel so special. This is a mental note for me as a wedding guest to take more phone photos at weddings!
Also, I gave my phone to my cousin and she was in charge of it all day/night. She took photos/videos on it which was so nice! I also didn't have to deal with it or keep track of it which was great!
First Look and Favorite Part of the Day
I am so glad we didn't do a first look. I know a lot of brides have written in saying that they can't decide. So in hindsight, for us, there are no regrets! We had a decent amount of time to get the photos we wanted together after our ceremony and didn’t feel rushed. My favorite part of our wedding day was walking down the aisle. The nerves I could feel as I was down in the bridal room of the church waiting for the moment to walk down the aisle. I could hear the bagpiper playing outside and the organ playing inside which was just so beautiful. My dad would peep out to tell me who all was there. My dad held on to me and us having our last few words before we started walking were so special. Hearing Trumpet Voluntary blaring out of the organ pipes and the trumpet jumping in and seeing all of our family and friends in one room, especially after the separation of 2020/21, standing as they saw us come to the top of the aisle. Almost 3 years of waiting was OVER. The realization that it was actually happening was truly a pinch-me moment. Between the blusher over my face and the aisle being incredibly long, I couldn't really see my husband's face at first, so I was able to focus on our guests who were just beaming and many had tears. To see your friends and family so truly and deeply happy for us is something I will remember always. I remember smiling so big but feeling my smile literally quiver as I became teary-eyed. My tip is to walk slowly so you can take it all in! It felt like a release of all of the stress and emotions from our postponement and the joy that it had all worked out in the end. As my husband's face came into focus, I was so happy that I am surprised I didn't burst. Once we started walking up to the altar hand-in-hand, I felt this huge sense of calm just wash over me completely. It was the oddest sensation. It all sounds so cheesy and so dramatic, but it was truly the best moment of my entire life. I personally don't think it would have been 'that moment' had we seen each other beforehand.
Take this advice and my personal experience with a grain of salt because your wedding timeline for the day of is going to look different than ours. Also, your priorities and personal relationship are different. Just because we did not do a first look, doesn't mean that's the 'right' way to do it. As much as I share those moments with you, I really shouldn't influence you one way or another. I feel like this is a very personal wedding decision that's important to make with your significant other!
Getting Around In The Dress
So this is funny because I still get asked about moving around in a big dress by people almost weekly. Just the other day someone asked if I was glad I only had one dress and didn't change. She said she has a similar dress to mine and she was worried about being able to dance so she has been thinking about an outfit change. The only time I thought it was hard to get around was when the train was down and I had the veil on. I am not going to lie, I became somewhat immobile and I was especially conscious about the dress and all of that in the earlier half because you obviously still have to walk down the aisle and get photos. Once we got to the reception and photos were mostly over, I just said YOLO and didn't care anymore. Plus, once I was bustled and the veil was removed, I was easily able to dance and have fun and get around. Like I mentioned earlier, the bathroom was still tricky, but even that was much easier without the train and veil. My biggest tip is just to move slowly if you have a big dress/train/veil situation. I never once tripped or anything like that but I definitely did move slow.
Also, the seamstress told me to kick my feet when I walked in the dress. Number one, to kick all of that material forward so you don't trip but two, to also keep yourself moving forward with the weight of the train behind you. It sounded weird when she told me, but I did it down the aisle and it helped SO much.
Bagpiper
A question I am frequently asked is if there was anything we did that might seem different or unique or special? We didn't really do anything extravagant but I do think there were a few small things here and there! Many people have a bagpiper around the ceremony of their wedding, which we did, but I thought it would be fun to include him in the reception part, too. It was such a hit! Adam Valenti was our bagpiper and he was SO good. If you need a piper for any occasion, he is your guy! If you want his information, e-mail me and I will gladly send it to you. He played outside of the church before and after the ceremony (bagpipers aren't allowed inside our church) and then he piped into the very end of cocktail hour to signal to guests that it was time to move to dinner. He piped the guests all the way up the stairs and then he piped as guests entered the ballroom and then switched the song as my husband and I walked in and then finished playing the song as guests looked on. It was like a mini-performance which was really cool. The only direction song-wise that I gave him is that I had him play Bonnie Dundee as guests were entering the ballroom and Scotland the Brave as my husband and I entered just because those are my two favorites! We had a bagpiper because my dad's side of the family is of Scottish Heritage. We had a bagpiper at my grandfather's funeral and I just thought it was so beautiful and so I wanted to incorporate this into our wedding day.
Late, Late Night Food
This is such a small detail, but I think it's worth mentioning. We had no idea the Duquesne Club was doing this for us, but it was the BEST touch. When we got back to our room, there were sandwiches, bottled water, and chips for us. We ate all of our dinners and even ate the late-night food served at our after party but we were both still ravenous when we got back to our room at like 3am. It was truly the best surprise. Talk to someone at your hotel or wherever you're staying to have this set up or even bring something hearty that you can eat at the end of the night if you feel like you need it, especially because by the time we were going to bed, it was too late to even order a pizza!
Did you have a purse?
I feel like a lot of questions I get are logistical, which I get. Someone asked this just the other day. I had a beautiful clutch. I carried it for the entire wedding weekend. I did have it for the wedding day but there really wasn't a point where I was ever carrying it or needed it. I actually had a tote that we put in the limo, the tote was brought into the church (there was a bridal room), and then it went back into the limo and someone delivered it to a room in the club. I was never schlepping anything myself, I had so much help from both staff and family/friends. The purse was honestly unnecessary and it was more fun/used the week leading up to the wedding and on our minimoon. On our wedding day, I never needed a wallet or literally anything. I just kept my lipstick in my pocket. I touched up in between the ceremony and reception and that stuff was from the tote that was in the private room reserved for us.
Also, I hope you know that this all comes from my own personal perspective and experience. You should ALWAYS do what is best for you and your partner when it comes to decision-making! Just because I did or did not do something, doesn't mean that is right or wrong! People are always going to judge your decisions, but I say who cares!!! Part II to come next week!
